Dear Dad - About Outgrowing Things

Sunday 24 October 2021

 


Dear Dad, 

It's Sunday afternoon, the grass has just been cut. 

Thanks to Paul the compound is neat and tidy just the way you used to like it. 

The mid morning sunlight is flirting with me through the kitchen windows of the house. 

It is playing with the gentle breeze and leaves of the flower bush outside 
making the faint shadows dance and leap across the chairs, table and walls.

A perfect  time for me to reflect , type and share my thoughts and recent adventures with you.

Remember when I wrote to tell you I was changing.

Then, I thought it was limited to personal areas of my life,
However it has quietly and willfully seeped through into others. 

At first I fought it.
I felt it was best.   
But now every cell in my body wants the change too. 

I can no longer to be meek and fit boxes that make people comfortable. 

I have outgrown playing small and pleasant. 

I have outgrown hiding the 'intimidating' parts of my personality.

I can't cower in the corner so as not to trigger someone's insecurities.  

I can't be afraid. 

I have outgrown the masks and the covers made to camouflage myself. 

In 2018, I said I was done making vision boards for a while. 
It is the end of 'a while'.  

This is a woman who will manage successful campaigns and programs.
A woman who will create a viable, beloved and credible award winning blog/brand that people enjoy. 
A woman who will build some houses and bequeath her children an estate. 
A woman who gets married and becomes a mother of two (or four if you listen to bae) 
A woman who will continue to travel the world and 
visit historical sites she dreamed of as a child.
A woman who gets multiple masters and credentials that build on her passions
A woman who will paint and create art that sells. 
A woman that continues to tell wonderful and impactful stories.

God always told me that at my core I am a storyteller 

Do I want to write some books ?
Yes I suppose I do! 
It is a given since my legacy will include a library.

I want to do this before I die Dad. 
Before they dress my lifeless embalmed body in a colorful Gomesi.
Before my family members say their last goodbye,
 lock it in a fancy coffin
lower it into the ground
and seal it with concrete. 

I am ready to be me now.

Stay well, I'll be writing again soon. 

My love always.

Dear Reader,
What have you outgrown in this season of your life ?
Did you embrace the change?
Did you make a vision board this year?
What areas did you focus on?
Share in the comments, would love to hear from you.


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The Skin Wars: 5 Korean beauty skincare habits that changed my skin for the better!

Tuesday 19 October 2021

 

Now that there is a  nation-wide curfew at 7.00pm and  I spend majority of my time working from home, the pandemic and it's lockdowns continue to provide opportunities for me to appreciate and optimize my personal time. 

One of areas that my online-content-curiosity-consuming-evenings has taken me down, is improving my skin care habits, in particular my face. I haven't always had  the best relationship with  my skin. After talking myself into trying just one more time at the end of 2020, I committed to dabbling in the Korean beauty/ #Kbeauty product trend for a period of six months, after which I would review and decide if it was a trend worth sticking too. 

Korean beauty skincare requires dedicated T.I.M.E out of your daily schedule. There are people who have up to  15 steps in their routine...I know...I know...I am tired just thinking about it.... but if one wants to see incredible results ...one may need to be devoted...lol!  My routine is at most five steps... that's all  I can manage for now. 

Once I was decided, I started looking for Korean beauty products in Uganda. Honestly I think Instagram was just reading my mind or stalking me online because out-of-the-blue Instagram Explore recommended  Skinfix, Aiolaug and hbeauty on my newsfeed. I tried a lot of products  for combination skin. I learnt A LOT from my premature-over-excited-skincare-product-junkie ways and now I have some wisdom to share. BIG DISCLAIMER, I am not a dermatologist or an esthetician. This is not an area one should experiment in without expert advice so enjoy reading my blog post but pretty please consult a professional before purchasing or using any new skincare products.   

 Here are the six new habits that have REALLY generated serious 
positive results for me in the last year.... 
 

1. Sunscreen every day!  Apparently no amount of  skin exfoliators and treatments will show results unless you protect your skin during the day.  I was one of those people that thought because I was black I didn't need sunscreen, I used to believe that wearing shea butter was as good as wearing sunscreen. I know better now. When I started to use these Korean products almost every video I watched stressed the importance of wearing sunscreen to help with pimple scaring and hyperpigmentation. Since buying these products is quite an investment, sunscreen became an essential part of my daily routine!  My favorite product is EltaMD UV Clear Broad Spectrum SPF 46, but I have also  used Neutrogena Ultra Sheer Dry Touch Sunscreen Broad Spectrum 45 and Cosrx Aloe Soothing Sun cream SPF50  . Watch the videos to learn more information on how best to incorporate sunscreen into your life. 


Lab Muffin Beauty Science's Sunscreens Do's and Don'ts 


Dr Alexis Stephen's Best Sunscreen For Darker Skin 


Dr. Vanita's Rattan's Mineral Vs Chemical Sunscreen For Skin of Color



2. The  miracle that is Snail Mucin! Yes I know when you think about those slimy slow gooey things that make your body curl in disgust as  you pass  them along the road on a rainy day, or accidently squash with your car wheel when you're not looking... how could they be so useful!? But the stuff that's bottled and packaged comes from snails that live in a clean area and are bred just for skin care product  production(whether it is ethically is another discussion all together).  Hands down , it is the most amazing ingredient I have used on my skin. My favorites are the Cosrx Advanced Snail 96 Mucin Power Essence and the Advanced Snail 92 All in One Repair Cream. I saw results within the first week of using these products. When those occasional-monthly-period-induced-stubborn-breakouts happen, they help soothe the area and my scars are less pigmented, some marks disappear after a few weeks. One thing I am learning is the formula of the product is really important, don't just believe the hype! It's your skin, you need to take care of it and understand what you are using and how it can work for you.  Below is where you can learn more.

 

Dr Gray's Cosrx Advances Snail 96 Mucin Power Essence


Dr Vanita Rattan's COSRX K skincare Review 


Odile Monod's Snail Mucin Debunked 



3. Using a BHA product two to three times a week!  No matter how much I clean my oily skin with my cleanser it just won't get deep down into my clogged pores like a good  BHA  product can. BHA in long form is Beta Hydroxy Acid. You need to understand the difference between BHA and AHA products and you need to visit a  doctor who specializes in skin care before adding one to your routine. Different skins types use different acids, and different products have different percentage concentration strengths for different skin type treatment needs. We are talking about acids here,  and we want to never cause permanent damage on this journey. Please do ask a professional.  Skin exfoliates  help with my mini breakouts. As I wrote in a blog post I have learned to see salicylic acid  as a friend rather that a foe. My favorite product right now is Cosrx BHA Blackhead  Power Liquid.  From the videos below you can learn more about what may work best for you.  


Beauty Within's Beginners Guide to Exfoliating Acids 



Doctorly's How to Exfoliate Your Skin


                                       Dr. Vanita Rattan's How to Exfioliate Skin of Colour



4. Retinol every other day! I am from the generation that watched recorded movies and music videos on cassette tapes.  Those who know know, so my anti-aging routine was over due. It takes a while for the effects of the retinol to show. I only noticed when others started telling me how plump and glowy my skin looked. My favorite products are Cerave Resurfacing Retinol Serum and Cerave Skin Renewing Retinol Serum. When I first used them, they  irritated my skin so I had to start slowly, applying a teeny tiny amount every other day after applying my moisturizer at night. I still put it on top of my moisturizer but I use the recommended amount now. It requires time and patience but I feel it is worth it. Here's where you can find more information.


Dr Vanita Rattan's Beginner's Guide To Retinol for Skin of Colour


Dr Gray's Best Retinols  for hyperpigmentation and anti aging


The Style and Beauty Doctor's How to Use Retinol + Retinoid 101



5. Double cleansing every night!  I have combination skin. I was one of those people who struggled with keeping my face clean, no matter how many times I used my normal cleanser. There would always be some dirt or grim somewhere that would result in an uninvited pimple a few days later.  Adding an oil cleanser changed my life! All my makeup especially the lipstick, eyeliner and mascara melted and dissolved in seconds and the tenacious daily sebum and sweat just gave way without leaving my skin tender and dried out. The second cleanse just focuses on removing  the remaining guck and pores. I use the Inkey List Oats Cleansing Balm followed by the Cosrx Salicylic Acid Cleanser as part of my night time routine. My daughter will gain all this wonderful knowledge for sure, unless she has perfect skin like her late grandmother then she will need nothing! Below are more videos for you to watch and learn. 


Hyram's How to oil cleanse


Dr. Vanita Rattan's Mistakes When Double Cleansing 



Dr Gray's How to double cleanse


So those are my five....for the first time in many years I have a regular morning and night time skincare routines. Each routine consists of different products catering for different needs. Honestly taking the time to follow them is really the best self care gift I could  give my self. It is  a  REAL treat! My own-everyday-home-spa-time. If you haven't already you can still start this journey too, but once again, I repeat,  ensure you seek professional advice a long the way. 

                                   In the comments share your skincare wisdom with us too. 

Thank you for reading and too-da-loo! Till next time. 


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Netflix's Next In Fashion - The New Project Runway?

Saturday 9 October 2021

 


I binge-watched Netflix's the Next in Fashion and need to write about it....only took me three days, each episode is roughly 30 minutes long. It is the type of show you can play in the background while tidying up, organizing or cleaning your home/space.

Next in Fashion debuted in January 2020 and was hosted by Alexa Chung and Tan France. It received  mixed reviews and as of now will not be returning for a second season. It features eighteen contestants hailing from Mexico, India, China, South Korea, England, USA, Scotland, Puerto Rico, Canada and Italy. All competing to win a cash prize of $250,000 provided by Net-a-Porter. 

I  didn't have a Netflix account in 2020; now I do... so I obliged myself ....

Disclaimer: I am not a fashion expert, been a fan of Project Runway since season one and I have continued to watch it even after our beloved  Heidi Klum and Tim Gunn left the series. It remains one of  my favorite old school reality shows, and I can see how it inspired Next in Fashion.

 Here's what's different about the Netflix show...

1.  I like the way all the filming remained in the design studio. We never followed the designers back to their shared accommodation.  The audience never delved deep into their personal relationships or emotional triggers. We watched them working and creating their work and any time they shared any internal insights it was related to their designs and passion for fashion. We never see them fighting over food, beds or bathroom time. 

2.  There is a live audience when they present their designs at the end of each episode. Some how this prevents the judges from performing in front of each other and showcasing their own personalities. The guest judges are not singers and movie stars, they are people who actually work in the fashion business Monique Lhiuiller, Prabal Gurung, Philip Lim, Kerby Jean Raymond from Pyer Moss, Adriana Lima, Christopher Kane, Adidas, Public School, Tommy Hilfiger, Elizabeth Stewart and Eva Chen 

3.  Before any of the outfits hit the runaway the judges know who each outfit was made by. What I adore  about this is that the judges judge the design and the design aesthetic not the contestant. They are never too harsh to permanently damage the contestant's esteem. In fact episode five one of the contestants, Claire Davis, is clearly upset and emotional when the hosts approach her and her partner to discuss their process, instead of confronting her on camera Alexa and Tan  show some profound emotional awareness, they give her space, they don't bring it up later on,  and even when she eventually gets eliminated it is never held against her. 

4.   An intense and interesting discussion that arose across the first four episodes about 'ghost designing' and stolen 'swag' ideas from black designers. The issue is highlighted by the design duo Farai Simoyi Agbede and Kiki Peterson. Kiki is a living legend who has created for famous black-owned fashion brands like FUBU and  House of Dereon. However  through out the series their talent fails to translate on the runway and they struggle, most of their designs scored low, and the one time they get given the chance to shine in the 'streetwear' category episode, they end up almost being eliminated. Guest judge Kerby gives them another chance by refusing to agree to their elimination. Emotional moment for him, emotional moment for the co-hosts and for the participants. Fame in fashion can be fickle, and may not always translate into long term success, even legends can get unintentionally disrespected.  As Heidi Klum says "One day you're in, and the next day you're out!"

5.  The designers never visit a fabric store, they have access to an on set stock room but they don't seem to have a budget or a restrictive time limit when choosing items.

6.  I have to say the show sometimes needed a 'Tim Gunn.' They could have benefited from someone to guide, mentor and challenge the designers through the creating process while encouraging them to stick to their personal unique brand. Although the hosts are engaging and fun with a dynamic and intuitive understanding of fashion and the latest trends, they are not technically skilled in garment construction and it shows. 

7.  It's great how the contestants were free to design for men and women under the same category!

8.  The contestants work in pairs and until the semi final, when a partnership failed they got eliminated together. Working in twos worked well for some designers namely Minju Kim , Angel Chen, Angelo Cruciani Carli Pearson, Daniel Fletcher and  Charles Lu but seemed detrimental for Hayley Scanlan, Nasheli Ortiz-Gonzalez and Julian Woodhouse.

9.  Although contestants' family members becoming emotional in the final episode happens on Project Runway too, when Minju's Dad starts crying as her wedding-dress-finale-piece comes down the runway and performs it's WOW-moment ...the tears...so many tears...it just warmed my heart.

10.  They use different body size fashion models without making a 'big' thing  of it,  it is just a normal part of the show.


Dear Netflix please re-consider your decision and make season two!
Pretty please... 
Nothing can replace Project Runway, but I enjoyed watching this. 





P.S: If you are looking for an informative review about the fashion business,  as said earlier I am not the one but  Haute Le Mode  does a great review which you can  click here to watch.
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