Tuesday, 30 May 2017

I filled my life with all my favourite things. ~ Bad Poetry

Dear Reader

Some people are natural givers
We are sometimes called naive
That's just how we are in relationships
safety nets
secret keepers
shoulders to cry on
We make ourselves available for the people we care about
We are loyal
And some people are just takers
they take your energy
your zeal
your time
Sometimes even your body
your ideas
your self-esteem
And if you  are NOT being careful
They walk out with your 'life'
And convince you that you'll never get it back again

So this happened to me many many many whiles ago
The usual story
I trusted someone and they let me down
bla bla bla
You know this story well
He just walked away
So I prayed to God 
I had all this space in my life that I had created for him
So God reminded me of one of my favourite songs
That song for Sound of Music 
When the thunderstorm comes
And all the Von Trap family children run to Maria's room
She sings them this lovely song about her favourite things
And soon they forget 
They dance around the room while the storm goes on 
So during my 'storm' i made a list of all my favourite things
And filled my life with them..
And it's been really good
It's been bliss actually

But now I am dating this new guy
I can see he's struggling
because I have no BIG space for him
I refuse to make my life about him
And he only knows how to create relationships where he can take
Where I tell him how to be better
Give away myself so that he can feel stronger 
So you see he hasn't learnt how to find all of THAT within himself
He still needs people outside of him, to do that for him
He doesn't know what his favourite things are
So he's hoping that I'll share mine with him
except I'm not willing to give him things to TAKE.
Because I am still getting to know him
I have designated a space for him
one where if he chooses to leave 
He leaves as he came 
without any of my favorite things..

Your Sincerely, 
Still Scared & All My Favorite Things 

Tuesday, 2 May 2017

Taking Stock : May 2017

Making: Serious career and life decisions that will determine my future. They were right when they told me that in my 30's I would buckle down with an  undisturbable intense focus on what I needed to achieve in this life time. I think my purpose is clear. Now I know exactly what I want... my energy is sooooo focused on how to get there. At the beginning of this year I attended Dine and Dream which has helped me keep track of my progress thus far. (I wrote about it here). I am enjoying this process. I am thankful for this process. With God's guidance, this is a time of clarity and Work, Work, Work...

Drinking: Hibiscus Tea, which I bought for my Dad, but I ended up drinking some of his stash. Only cost me 5000ugx a pack in Nakawa market. Worth it!

ReadingJust finished reading David and Goliath, now that's a book everyone should read and one that I will write about on this blog sometime soon. The book helps you start looking at any disadvantage as an advantage. I highly recommend it. I also just finished reading Shake Hands with the Devil. I had to read the book because I had the opportunity of meeting RomΓ©o Dallaire last year. I was a little embarrassed that I didn't quite grasp who he was at the time.  

Playing: Playing Beyonce's Lemonade in honour of it's anniversary. I love Adele but 'Yonce deserved the Grammy for album of the year. I think last week they released stats saying Lemonade sold more albums last year than any other album released including Adele's, that is some serious shade from the academy. Also loving Tiwa Savage's All Over.

Wishing:  Not wishing for anything right now. Just trying to be present in each moment.

Enjoying: All this reading I have been able to get done! Seven books so far in the year of 2017 according to Goodreads. I hope I beat my book challenge this year. I think I have five more to go. 

Writing: Finished a short story in March. Haven't been writing much since then. Hoping to get back into it this month.  

Loving: BeeWax for the skin! I bought some in Koboko because I left my trusted Shea Butter at home and I needed something thicker than lotion. I stumbled on this product while buying some fresh honey and I feel like I have discovered more skin GOLD. We need to do something about this. Just know I am hatching a business plan...

Eating: Eating everything and anything. My healthy eating plan went out the window after spending so many weeks upcountry. You have to eat what is available! No shame...

Needing: To learn to be a little bit more assertive in my relationships. I am actually working on this.

Wearing: The same dress I bought from Mr. Price a while ago.It needs to be banished to the back of the closet. It's actually the striped one I wore in my last Taking Stock blog post. It is too too much now, I need to give my other dresses some love.

Knowing: That prayer can help you get through some very trying moments. Must always remember to talk to God. πŸ’œπŸ’œπŸ’œ

Thinking: Ummm.....where do I begin?

Giggling Over: Erika from Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. She's my new favorite!