Making: Focusing on growing & nurturing my current professional skills and personal creative passions into something tangible, is my biggest priority at present.
It's no secret I love to learn, I just don't like tests or exams!  
Drinking: I am back on Kwenu's celery juice, and still drinking as much water 
Reading: Below is a screenshot of my completed Goodreads' 12 book challenge for 2018. I lost the gusto for reading in June I dragged myself through the last three books in August. There are at least 15 unread books scattered across my room, and three of them are poetry books. To my shock, I have discovered, sometimes a stanza of poetry lights a fire in me to write, hence my unlikely purchases...
Playing: Pentatonix's Christmas Carols on repeat!
Wishing: That's a secret between myself and God.  
Enjoying: Some few days off over the holidays. It's been an intense year. At one point I arrived back from a nine day training in South Africa on Tuesday and continued with my work week, then traveled to Karamoja the following week (I get anxious all over again, just thinking about it..)  However, there have been fewer episodes of burnout over the last 365 days because I really monitored my work hours. And as part of my self love journey, I claimed overtime when I worked on weekends. Right now I am chilling at home, in the big sitting room, with our lit Christmas tree writing this blog post, and it is making me very content. You know...I woke up at 12.00 pm today. I can't remember the last time time I did that...maybe in my teens? Or the days after I handed in my last assignment for my bachelors...who knows? 
Writing: I took some Skillshare courses on non-fiction writing this year. Wow, the muse has my pen and hand burning on paper .I just need to buckle down and complete each writing project properly.
Loving: My new clothes purchased during my extra time in Bangkok. I feel for once I bought clothes that represent my personality. I even bought some cool pin accessories.
Eating: Cafe Java's Apple Pie Blondie...cause it's the holidays and therefore...
Needing: Time in 2019, to rest and rejuvenate, but  with all the wonderful ideas & goals I would like to accomplish... when will I schedule in this precious time to fully recuperate?


Wearing: Still in love with lipsticks and eye make up. Added the Jaclyn Hill Morphe Palette to the collection, a MAC satin lipstick called Media that looks like nude colored butter on my lips, and lastly Sleek Makeup's I-Divine Vintage Romance Palette has fantastic purple shades for my black brown eyes.


Knowing: Some internal work needs to be done, 
Giggling Over: Evelyn From The Internets'  old 2015 and 2014 VEDA videos, sometimes I just need a good laugh and her storytelling and foolery always cheer me up!

In this day and age when we struggle to concentrate for long periods of time,
because so much online content is trying to catch our attention ,

whether it is useful or  useless

or purposeful or purpose-less;
I have decided to do my duty as a millennial and share videos,
I enjoyed watching on You Tube this year

So load some data,

and get watching,

Hopefully you'll enjoy them.

😁😁😁😁😁

Video Essayists 

At the end of last year I discovered video essayists on You Tube, by coming across Nerdwriter1.
These are a thoughtful and articulate crowd of You Tubers, who have helped me learn so much about topics I never would have thought to discover on my own. Some evenings and weekends you can find me glued to my phone screen for 30 minutes at a time just watching these types of videos

For example how Walt Disney and team re-wrote Mary Poppins for the big screen was  an eye opener. Is it fair for them to' 'sprinkle' our problematic past as humans with 'fairy dust'?

We all still listen to the The Miseducation of Lauryn Hill, so a video essay about how her music has stood the test of time is a must watch.

And...like who isn't a Toy Story Fan? But did you know they almost lost  the whole of movie number 2?

So instead of sitting down to a cozy night by the TV, get your computer/phone out instead and have a cozy night on You Tube with Lindsay Ellis, Nerdwriter or Austin Mcconnell.

The Revisionist World of Disney- Lindsay Mills 

Remember When Pixar Accidentally deleted Toy Story 2 - Austin Mcconnell





Podcast/ Great Discussions 

I always stumble on these podcasts.
There are none I follow religiously.
However when I do find a good one, the discussion is so addictive that,
I re-watch and re-watch because I learn a lot unexpectedly.

Elon Musk talking about the perils of artificial intelligence with Joe Rogan ,
 is the scariest  thing I have ever listened too, worse than a sci-fi movie!
On a lighter note Ashley Graham's interview with Noor Tagouri left me so inspired,
 I just wanted to go out and achieve all my dreams in record time lol!

Sharon Mundia making a video with Dr Karen,  seemed a brave thing for her to share.
Some of us are still learning  that we need to take care of our mental health, in the same way we do for our physical self. Society's judgement is still a major deterrent for people seeking help.  I have enjoyed their discussions and hope she keeps sharing such content on her You Tube channel. 

Then there is Carol Mutoko talking about the boy issues... it is controversial, but hey... these are the types of conversations that  make me stop scrolling on You Tube

Slate's discussion with Mona Eltahawy, got me wondering... how are we, as believers,  ensuring that our holy spaces remain sacred and safe for everyone?

So once again make yourself some tea/coffee, get comfortable and get listening!

Joe Rogan- Elon Musk  on Artificial Intelligence

Trolls, Perfection and the Pressures of keeping Up with Social Media - This is Ess




Docu-Series Style Videos

The Discovery & the National Geographic Channels on DSTV  have failed to be a source of enjoyment, learning and discovery for me anymore.

They used be my go-too for documentaries.
My father would make my siblings and I sit down to watch at least one, once a week.

You Tube has become that place for me.

So in my choices for you below..

Learn  about the children that disappeared in Irish orphanages
owned by the Catholic Church decades ago...

Or about the big-lizard-like things that once roamed the earth....

Or even about how the beauty industry is using unsafe ingredients...

Or about the oldest hotel in India and it's charming employees...

How the Catholic Church Hid Away Hundreds of Irish Children -The New York Times

#findingnenek - The Girl in the Batik Dress- Beni

This is uncomfortable - Hallease

I Quit Social Media for  30 days -Matt D'Avella

Is Your Dream Career too Competitive - Leena Norms

So that's all folks!
Hope you enjoyed, and comment below with any of your
 recommendations. I would love to discover new channels. 

(Btw find me on Twitter @mariajulietrose 😀)

Dear Dad,

I delayed waking up.

Took me hours to get dressed,

You had left the house by the time I came down.

I got dressed in a fumble,
Trying to put all of  my adult myself together.

In a midst of organizing my handbag, 

I accused the driver of stealing my smart phone,
a moment of blind stupid panic.

We turned the house upside down, me & my brother,
me & your son.

 I located it two minutes later,
 carelessly placed under a pile of clean clothes 

that should have been hanged in the cupboard a week ago.

Yes... Yes
I know...
 I should stop putting 'the damn thing' on silent.

Alright...since it is painfully obvious,
Let me be honest and  just say,
I really don't want to go..
I really really really don't want to go...
I mean these are all signs,
My style of resistance has not changed since childhood
 taking an unusual number of  hours to put on a decent dress,
misplacing things,
Also I forget to mention
nearly throwing up my breakfast.
Like all those times when I didn't want to go to school.

I am an adult now
You cannot force me to go
But  you're disappointed scrunched-up face from last night in the TV room
 haunted me till the morning hours
You really want us to be there.
It is my duty as your daughter ,
So I  will be there Dad.

My feet are heavy.
But I drag them ,
Into the hired grey beige super-custom.
And we finally depart.

We drive,

past Kingdom Church,

past that place where the road collapsed from the rain some weeks ago,
past Forever Business Finance,
past Faith Drug Store,
past Agar Petrol Station,
past the make shift furniture shacks,
past the shells of future homes,
past the goat imprisoned by a rope attached to a mango tree,
past A Chicken Delight restaurant that also provide wedding cakes,

Past the Equator sign.

White tents and loud speakers blasting the village choir hymns,
ensure us we have reached the right location.
 There is mud is everywhere.
It is that time of year when the rain has no mercy.
We jump over giant tire skid marks in the road as we walk to the house.

I think mass is almost done.
It seems your whole neighborhood is here Dad.
Even the guys who sell those odd calender's with photos of the deceased are here.

You are seated near the alter,
In front of the main house
There are 10 priests settled around you.
You are an important guest.
For sure there is no way I will avoid kneeling while greeting today.
You smile when you see me
I see the surprise in your eyes
I think you had resigned yourself to the fact that my millennial self would let you down
yet I am here Dad.


Uncle brings me a white plastic chair
and we all sit beside you.
You now look a little taller now,
and Dad, you sing the hymns much brighter
Cause your children are by your side.

I see the coffin of your aunt
Your mother's best friend
I see women in bursutis all seated on the mukekas beside it
And every now and them one raises her hand,
to adjust the cloth that keeps sliding off the casket.
They too must do their duty as daughters and granddaughters.

How come you  never brought us to see her while she was alive?
I never knew all this time she was here.

Final announcements are made
Mass is done.
The men of the family lift your Aunty,
and take her away,
down the foot path,
behind the house.
We do not follow.
Uncle says it's not a place we can manage.
Remember the rain has no mercy?


I know the reason for my internal tantrum Dad.
I am not ready.

I want you to be my parent forever Dad
And me forever the child.
We are adults now I know.
We are busying building our lives
But you are the only anchor left.
So I am not ready.
I wasn't ready for Mum to go.
Wasn't prepared for the last five years of her absence
Don't you see how long it's taken me to find my focus, my purpose & my direction?
 Truthfully,
I don't know if I'll ever be ready Dad.

Deep Breath.
I tell myself
Stare away.
I tell myself
Blink the tears back.
I tell myself.
Quick! Quick!
I tell myself.
Blink those tears back,
into the corners of the eyes from which they came.
I tell myself
Deep deep breath.
Don't speak.
 Your voice will betray you
Breath.
Just Breath.
I tell myself.

I am keeping myself together Dad

I know my duty as your daughter
We know our duties as your children

We will be here Dad.


(Btw find me on Twitter @mariajulietrose )

When they don't CC you on e-mails that they should...

When they purposely forget to call you, and keep you informed,

When you realize they were never really your friend to begin with,

When they take your ideas and make them your own,

When they continuously invade your space so that you feel small, 

When they sit you in the corner and treat you like a child,

When they shout at you, and get right in your face,
pointing and spitting cause they want their way,

When they treat you like you don't matter,

When they judge you before you've even had a chance to tell them who you are,

When they try to gaslight you because you have discovered
who they REALLY are..

Just remember,

No weapon formed against you shall prosper(Isaiah 54:17)

They will not win these battles

They won't get very far.

That's why it is soooooooo important,

to take good care of yourself  my dear,
because,

one day allllllll that you have worked hard for,
 will finally manifest right thereeeeee,
Right there in front of you,
And you need to be ready.
 Ready to comfortably & graciously take your seat at the table.
Ready to do what you have been called alllllllll along to do.

So take good care of yourself my dear,
Cause who else will?