Tuesday, 8 March 2016

Dear Queen: You Can Only Be Yourself

You can only be yourself.

Dear Queen,
I am going to get preachy in this letter, but I know that you need it. Mum passed away two years ago, and this pep talk has been a long time coming. Here goes.

Embrace failure. Embrace rejection. Right now, as difficult as it is, they have been acting as your best friends. They have saved you from yourself and your need to people please. Your life is not about fitting in. When it’s time for you to fit in, you will know. For now, I simply ask you to step out of the assembly line and try something new.

You have always been awkward. It wasn’t a problem till you left the safe haven of home and joined primary school, but ever since someone innocently pointed it out, you’ve spent precious time trying to fix yourself.

Darling, allow me to use a well known clich√© here.  You are different for a reason.  God, the Universe, the omnipotent, the creator (whatever you feel comfortable calling him/her.); he made you unique, as he did everyone else. You have ignored that fact for a long while now. Need I remind you of your most common prayer requests made by your bedside? You asked him to not make you appear so different. You asked him to not make you stand out. You asked him to allow you to fit in. He warned you against that path, but you insisted. He allowed you to have your way for the last couple of years, you’ve blended in nicely, but it’s not worked out so well. Has it? This year will mark thirty years on this earth my dear, may I humbly suggest you now chose to do what you were born to do.

 I see you with that familiar lost worried look on your face most times, like the one you had on your first day at school. You keep looking for approval from the same people, when your gut has clearly told you to walk away. Some people are not your people.

 It’s taken a while but you are finally coming around. Be proud of yourself you’re starting to listen. Please don’t allow people’s bad behavior to paralyze your progress. Sometimes people act out of fear, and you need to recognize this if you going to learn which feedback or criticism is good for you.
I must gently and sincerely tell you, that the original plan you laid out for yourself isn’t working. The problem is you’ve been trying to figure it out all by yourself. Do you recall when you were little your mother helped you nurture your relationship with God? She often reprimanded you when you were disrespectful, or even took your spiritual education for granted. She wanted to teach you the importance of commitment. Those were important lessons. She was preparing you for adulthood. Try your best to remember them.

 I am glad you have started working on a serious relationship with God. This time you’ve done it all by yourself. In the past, you have often bounced back and forth between praying in desperate times, then forgetting God during the good times and seeking the approval and acceptance of others. I guarantee you if you work on that one relationship successfully, you will be able to sort all the human ones too.  
Can I ask one thing of you? Tell God the truth about how you see him. It’s important you build your foundation on the truth. If you don’t believe he cares, tell him. If you don’t believe he is supportive, tell him. If you feel he abandoned you, tell him. Do yourself as favor, and stop whining to everybody else about how God doesn’t show up. Tell God, and then leave it to him to figure out how he will answer you. Don’t take that responsibility from him. It’s a relationship. You must allow him to do his part.
Now let me just save you some sleepless nights and confirm that God does answer prayers. Take time to nurture your relationship with Him, and you’ll find that you catch the answers he sends a lot quicker and a lot easier. Yes, I used the word ‘catch’ because if you have already decided how God will answer you, you will miss how he ACTUALLY answers you. Let God show you how he works. Let Him show you how well he does things. You’ll be impressed. Don’t restrict yourself. Allow God to show you who you are and what you should be doing, even if it’s so different from the norm.

Note that your life is going to change now that you are focused on healing yourself. Don’t feel guilty that you have chosen to take time to work on yourself.  You have your own journey and you have your own life to live. You can be afraid, but don’t let fear consume you.
I really am proud of you! 

Thank you for being so brave. Thank you for listening to God and cutting a new path for yourself. 

Lots of love

Write a 'Dear Queen' or 'Dear King' letter for yourself too.

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