Showing posts with label dear queen. Show all posts
Showing posts with label dear queen. Show all posts
Kindly allow me carry out my friendship duties, and dispense the little bit of wisdom I have about this junction in your life.
Take my advice in good faith though, I am speaking with good intentions but you must remember it's still based on my perspective, and you need to take into account your own opinion and many others too.
May I suggest we start with the Bible?
I am not a Pastor...so you'll just have to flip through the old testament until you stumble on
ECCLESIASTICS
I used to avoid this book of bible, the only part I was comfortable reading was "A Time for Everything" and that was because of the movie 'A Walk To Remember'. Back then, I was a Mandy Moore Fan(.... I still am).
Before we proceed, first be warned, you will need to learn to continually cheer yourself in this phase of life. It is a tough internal battle and requires mental strength. Your ideas of the world will change, your goals will too. To survive, you will have to spend time assessing, re-adjusting and forging new plans.
"I accomplished great things, I built myself houses and planted vineyards, with all kinds of fruit trees in them. I dug ponds to irrigate them. I bought many slaves, and there were slaves born in my household. I owned more livestock than anyone else who had ever lived. I also piled up sliver and gold from royal treasuries of the lands I ruled. Men and women sang to entertain me..." ( Ecclesiastes 2 : 4 -9)
" Then I thought about all that I had done and how hard I had worked doing it, and realized that it didn't mean a thing. It was all like chasing the wind- of no use at all."(Ecclesiastes 2: 11)
" We leave this world just as we entered it- with nothing,. In spite of all our hard work there is nothing we can take with us." (Ecclesiastes 5: 15-20)
"The same fate awaits human beings and animals alike. One dies just like the other"
So if life is useless...than what now?
Are you still waiting for answers...
You most likely will not find them here.
But while you are here, here is the wisdom I offered at the beginning of this post ...
Speak to yourself nicely...what is the point in being harsh? The reality of your discovery will not change.... so no point making yourself feel uncomfortable. I urge you to take care of yourself the best you can, because even though Ecclesiastics was sought of right, ironically his writing lived on to the present day and his despair/mid life crisis is still educating us.
Accept that there are some questions you may never have answers too. For the questions that do have answers you may not like them...so just learn to accept. Once you accept, you can clearly figure out what's next.
Pray for wisdom, you need to navigate this world somehow...
The minute I thank the universe for something , more of it appears...why? maybe magic?
Go on try it, and get back to me with your results.
You need to laugh and in this place we call home, what else can you do but laugh at the mystery of it?
"Useless Useless, said the philosopher. It is all useless."
Dear Queen,
Happy New Year! Also Happy Women’s Day!
Facebook with their memories brought you too my attention
again, and you know that we are a generation sensitive to triggers. In order to allow these triggers to harmlessly pass through and not possess us, self
reflection is now a must.
I apologize for my neglect in 2017. Only two letters.
I have been so focused on developing and perfecting new
skills, that I completely forgot to write you.
How are you? Dear Queen, the woman in the photo from four years ago, tell me how
are you?
I look at this photo, facebook shared.
I know the thought that is running through your bones at
that particular moment.
I know the thought that is trying to control your life.
I know what you are trying to hide behind your every breath.
I know the feeling you try to mask with the pretense of
'coping well', because you want your loved ones to not worry about you so much. For months now they have been propping you up.
And now you are doing your
best to conceal your true feeling.
Fear.
You are hiding it. Though it's another badly kept secret cause your eyes
give you away. But that’s okay you can easily keep your head down in
conversation so that people don’t notice.
There is a scared girl behind those ‘questionable’ sun
glasses. Oba where did you buy them from? Thank God you lost them.
Fear is ruling your heart.
Fear that the monster that is grief will take over when your
people leave you to get back to your daily life alone. You are petrified it will overwhelm you and you will be stuck in a maze of emotions unable to find your
way out.
But your biggest fear is just knowing that you are going to
be alone. Left to your own devices.
How will you make decisions again? For months people have been
deciding for you.
There is a space there…. where your mother used to be, and
you are not sure yet what to do with it.
They have kept you in
a safe bubble for the last couple of months.
They have done what strong women do, fiercely
protected you from the world and from yourself.
And now they have to leave, back to their
lives they must go. One is planning a wedding,
another is returning overseas to pursue her doctorate.
At night you wake up terrified, and you can’t tell if the
nightmares are the birth child of sorrow, anxiety or anger.
You don’t know how you will cope.
You can’t remember the last time you felt this alone.
So I am here to tell you something about you…. I am the women from four years
later.
You are okay.
You survived.
You are doing well.
You are on track
You are focused.
We pray. You and I. We pray a lot.
Also next year you give yourself a well deserved mini break. It will change your life.
Well done Queen for being brave enough to go.
By the way they will check on you. These great friends of yours will
check on you. These are your people. You
are not alone.
Okay so now you know.
So until the next facebook memory comes along. Don’t worry
so much. We are fine.
Stay well. Continue to learn. Continue to grow.
You can handle it.
Photo credit: Unsplash
 |
| You can only be yourself. |
Dear Queen,
I am going to get preachy in this letter, but I know that
you need it. Mum passed away two years ago, and this pep talk has been a long
time coming. Here goes.
Embrace failure. Embrace rejection. Right now, as difficult
as it is, they have been acting as your best friends. They have saved you from
yourself and your need to people please. Your life is not about fitting in.
When it’s time for you to fit in, you will know. For now, I simply ask you to
step out of the assembly line and try something new.
You have always been awkward. It wasn’t a problem till you
left the safe haven of home and joined primary school, but ever since someone
innocently pointed it out, you’ve spent precious time trying to fix yourself.
Darling, allow me to use a well known cliché here. You are different for a reason. God, the Universe, the omnipotent, the creator
(whatever you feel comfortable calling him/her.); he made you unique, as he did
everyone else. You have ignored that fact for a long while now. Need I remind
you of your most common prayer requests made by your bedside? You asked him to
not make you appear so different. You asked him to not make you stand out. You
asked him to allow you to fit in. He warned you against that path, but you
insisted. He allowed you to have your way for the last couple of years, you’ve
blended in nicely, but it’s not worked out so well. Has it? This year will mark
thirty years on this earth my dear, may I humbly suggest you now chose to do
what you were born to do.
I see you with that
familiar lost worried look on your face most times, like the one you had on
your first day at school. You keep looking for approval from the same people,
when your gut has clearly told you to walk away. Some people are not your
people.
It’s taken a while
but you are finally coming around. Be proud of yourself you’re starting to
listen. Please don’t allow people’s bad behavior to paralyze your progress.
Sometimes people act out of fear, and you need to recognize this if you going
to learn which feedback or criticism is good for you.
I must gently and sincerely tell you, that the original plan
you laid out for yourself isn’t working. The problem is you’ve been trying to
figure it out all by yourself. Do you recall when you were little your mother
helped you nurture your relationship with God? She often reprimanded you when
you were disrespectful, or even took your spiritual education for granted. She
wanted to teach you the importance of commitment. Those were important lessons.
She was preparing you for adulthood. Try your best to remember them.
I am glad you have
started working on a serious relationship with God. This time you’ve done it
all by yourself. In the past, you have often bounced back and forth between
praying in desperate times, then forgetting God during the good times and seeking
the approval and acceptance of others. I guarantee you if you work on that one
relationship successfully, you will be able to sort all the human ones too.
Can I ask one thing of you? Tell God the truth about how you
see him. It’s important you build your foundation on the truth. If you don’t
believe he cares, tell him. If you don’t believe he is supportive, tell him. If
you feel he abandoned you, tell him. Do yourself as favor, and stop whining to everybody
else about how God doesn’t show up. Tell God, and then leave it to him to
figure out how he will answer you. Don’t take that responsibility from him.
It’s a relationship. You must allow him to do his part.
Now let me just save you some sleepless nights and confirm
that God does answer prayers. Take time to nurture your relationship with Him,
and you’ll find that you catch the answers he sends a lot quicker and a lot
easier. Yes, I used the word ‘catch’ because if you have already decided how
God will answer you, you will miss how he ACTUALLY answers you. Let God show
you how he works. Let Him show you how well he does things. You’ll be
impressed. Don’t restrict yourself. Allow God to show you who you are and what
you should be doing, even if it’s so different from the norm.
Note that your life is going to change now that you are
focused on healing yourself. Don’t feel guilty that you have chosen to take
time to work on yourself. You have your own journey and you have your own life
to live. You can be afraid, but don’t let fear consume you.
I really am proud of
you!
Thank you for being so brave. Thank you for listening to God
and cutting a new path for yourself.
Lots of love
Maria
Write a 'Dear Queen' or 'Dear King' letter for yourself too.
Write a 'Dear Queen' or 'Dear King' letter for yourself too.
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