So simple .
Breathe in, breathe out.
During my lunch meditation I decided to accept and surrender.
So simple.
Breathe in, breathe out.
Surprisingly no resistance came from inside of me.
I let go.
So simple.
Breathe in, breathe out.
I handed it over to Him.
Breathe in, breathe out
So simple.
Allow me to officially confess both in my mind and aloud...
I believe in love.
I believe in the power of love
I am a true romantic in denial.
After all these years on the earth,
right at the bottom of my heart,
deep deep down ,
you'll find a tattered and beaten pink sweet perfumed sticky note.
In thick black ink, some squiggly writing reads
"Always believe in fairy tales and forever!"
I am typing this at 11.01pm,
Little Maria in my mind, refuses to settle.
Many years ago I told her and my heart to keep quiet,
I said "You can't be trusted anymore!"
Today, tonight, everything is fighting back!
I tried to shut it all down,
and I want to tell you that it worked out.
That I matured into a magnificent worldly cynic
I failed...
Cause today...
and tonight...
God whispers 'Nope....your heart is right he's the one. I say he IS the one!'
Little Maria chimes in, "Finally! We've been telling her since day one!"
I stand corrected.
In my head, in my heart,
love wins.
Dear Dad, Dear Mum,
I hope this letter finds you wherever you dwell in heaven.
I miss you both and know that all is well.
I am writing to you from my new apartment in Turin, Italy.
And yes I plan on going to the Vatican to catch a glimpse of His Holiness at some point.
That is not the reason for this letter though...
I thought I would just check in after a long while.
For the last four days I have been reflecting.
Mid last week I was in denial about my distress
and a concerned individual said some soft kind words to me.
My body went rigid, and automatically tried to deflect.
I realized that I forgot what kindness looks like
I have been giving, taking-care-of, and protecting all my dear ones since you both left.
So much so that I don't know how to accept when someone wants to do the same for me.
So much so that people have gotten used to taking from me and I never ask anything from them, even if it is small.
So much so that when strangers or acquaintances are kind to me I get confused.
Accepting kindness has become so unfamiliar that I don't know what it looks like.
Do I even know if I have been practicing it in my life?
Am I being kind or people-pleasing?
Am I being kind or just scared they will leave?
Am I being kind, or just being taken advantage of?
Am I being kind or enabling?
I am still reflecting on this.
I feel as though God is asking me too.
Because somehow I forgot that prayers can be answered too.
Again?
Yes again.
I have homework to do.
That's all from me, for now.
Take care
Your loving daughter,
Maria
I have been enjoying some hair care and skin care products and thought I should share...
- Olaplex no. 3 Hair Perfector and no. 9 Bond Protector Nourishing Hair Serum. By the end of 2022, the ends of my hair were long and messy. Despite a largely no heat year, I had split ends for days!!! In July I jumped on the bond repairing bandwagon. I will try and share results at the end of the year.
- Yves Roche Italia body washes, Mango and Coriander and Pomegranate and Pink Pepper. The scents and suds are refreshing at the end of my work day.
- Laniege Lip Sleeping Mask I totally understand the hype, this product is worth every euro. I know it looks like a small container but I bought it in May and its now August. We are still together...lol. I think I will be using it up until October before I buy a second one. My lips are now soft and supple. It is worth it in my humble opinion.
- The Ordinary Glycolic Acid 7% Toning Solution. I used this to help with my inflamed flaky itchy scalp in June, and now after Tik Tok consultations I use it on my body to help with anything that it can. My scalp is flake free, my heels are summer-ready and those ingrown hairs on other parts of my body don't stand a chance with this new weekly routine. It will be a must-have in my home moving forward.
- The Ordinary Sulphate 4% Shampoo and Behentrimonium Chloride 2% Conditioner , I was one of those people that thought I had to buy products specially targeting black people. I would buy products that do too much. But I have been listening to the Blowout Professor. Stay away from products that promise a lot. This duo works sooooo well for me, I am surprised and reformed. There are no gimmicks. It simply does what it says on the bottle. My dandruff prone scalp is happy.
- Patchology Posh Peel Pedi Cure, My feet looked terrible, dry heels and white peeling skin across the edges and in-between my toes. No matter how much I soaked and scrubbed I couldn't fix it. I couldn't wear sandals, it was too ugly. I was in Sephora and decided to try this . Within a week I had a new layer of skin and four months later we are still looking better than 2022. I plan to do another one later on in the year.
- Lush Renee's Souffle Hair and Scalp Oil, I didn't know Lush could make such products. I didn't know I was included in their target demographic. I didn't know they could make a product that closely resembles what I would buy in my home country. I love it! It smells sooo good.
- Sephora Purifying Scalp Serum AHA + Zinc and the Hydrating Scalp Serum with Hyaluronic Acid, I am no longer putting oil directly on my scalp because You Tube says I should starve the thirsty entitled dandruff causing bacteria that lives on my head rent free. These two serums help me to not pat my scalp incessantly in-between weekly washes.
- Sephora Coconut Foot Mask If you are prone to dry feet like me, using this mask once every two weeks is a good self pamper session.
- Patchology Restoring Night Eye Gels, My undereye areas looked pump, young and cute when I tried these for a week despite a lack of sleep then.
- This is a beauty product but worth a mention none the less, Huda Beauty Matte Lipstick Drama Mama, I adore this shade! I bought this at the airport in Rome and it has quickly become my daily-go-to.
They have really made a difference in my life as I settle into my new home.
Spending ten minutes in a Sephora store really helps lower my anxiety lol....
In the comments, are you using anything new in your self care routine? Do share.
(Disclaimer: I am not a doctor, These products have worked for me but they may not work for you. Always seek professional advice if you intend to use any of them)
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