As I grow in my professional career, I
often wonder what I’d be like if I was a supervisor. So in my vivid imagination I wrote some odd things down. In addition to all the
formal stuff, here are 10 things I would say to my future supervisees…
1. TRAVEL
- Whether it is local travel or international travel, please go and
explore other cultures, eat new food, learn how another language is spoken. When
you travel you detach yourself from your daily routine. I need you to do this
so that you realize you have a life besides work. Train your brain to be in new
situations/challenges and to still be at peace. The more fulfilled you are
in life the better for me because you will produce outstanding work. So please
travel to nice places...
2. FOCUS
ON YOUR WORK- Yes I give you full permission to ignore office politics,
especially the kind that involves bullying. I think we’ve all been victims of
relational bullying at some point. People can spin their webs so slyly that you
don’t even know you are trapped! I have a No-Tolerance-Policy for bullying in
my Unit. Three strikes and you’re out. Focus on getting work done. That doesn’t
mean that you should ignore developing your interpersonal skills. Don’t get it
twisted… it’s important for you to harness healthy professional relationships
with your co-workers. It’s very vital that you learn how to work in a team but
please focus on getting your work done.
3. TAKE
TIME TO WORK ON YOURSELF – practice REAL self-love. I know for some people it may be difficult to understand
why this is important, but honestly I have watched people act vindictively
towards a colleague because they are reluctant to deal with their own personal issues.
Preying on those you consider ‘weak’ doesn’t make you stronger. Behaviour like
that can disrupt the whole team’s progress. As my supervisee, I would ask you to
take time outside of work to sort out your issues and to get help if you need
it. Build a good support system around
you.
4. TAKE
10 MINUTES A DAY FOR ACTIVITIES THAT FEED YOUR SOUL- Please, please please make
time to do the small things you love to replenish the soul. Pray, meditate,
scream profanities at no one in your backyard, watch movies, read books or take
long walks. Whatever. Find what makes you feel this utopian sense of love and
do it regularly. The people around you won’t always make you feel good about
yourself. In fact they might ignore you most times because they are more
focused on stuff. So this needs to come from you. You are in charge of
your own well-being. Try not to spend so much time looking for unhealthy
approval in others. This goes back to number 2. Learn to ‘love and approve of
yourself’ in the words of Louise L Hay
5. GET
ENOUGH SLEEP - I recently took a very insightful training on
stress management. Dear Lord thank you for such a wake up call! I trust that
you can manage your time effectively because you are an adult…. if not then we shall factor
in some time management skills training. Ensure you get time to rest, get to
bed before 10pm for good quality sleep.
6. EAT
GOOD FOOD- I need you to be healthy and productive at work. Eat good food. Eat healthy
food that makes your mouth water, eat food that inspires midnight cravings. I
hired you because you are good at what you do. Kindly ensure you strive to be
at your optimum best as much as possible
7. SCHEDULE
SPA VISITS- This is related to number five and requires special time put into
your schedule. Yes I will sign your leave form for this, but you must bring the
receipt as proof of purchase. I need you to get into the habit of taking care
of yourself so that you can better take care of others.
8. RUN
YOUR OWN RACE – Stop worrying about what everyone else is doing or achieving.
What would you like to achieve? That’s what matters!
9. CUPCAKES
FIX EVERYTHING– Each week someone will be tasked with bringing in goodies to
office. Cake makes everyone feel better so put aside some money for your week.
It will be your ‘random’ act of kindness for your colleagues. It will be how
you show them appreciation. Do nice things for each other. It will make for a
better work environment.
10. DO
YOUR BEST – Give your best effort. 100% makes a difference. Listen. Learn.
Don’t take feedback personally. Be sincere when you give feedback. The best
people grow from their experiences.
I have only just started reading the book Brida by PauloCoelho. I bought it for 7000ugx at a Nakumatt Book Clearance sale about a month
ago. I have read The Alchemist before, but my favorite Paulo Coelho book is Veronika Decides to Die. I find it really fascinating how he writes such simple stories
to explain such profound things. His stories remind me of the kind you’d hear
around a camp fire at night. I often
wonder where his inspiration comes from. How does he piece his stories
together? How does he spend his days? When his muse appears does
he lock himself up in his office and write profusely? Does he sit for hours on
end just meditating on the concept of 'life'? Is he part of some
secret society? I am scared to google
him in case it ruins the mystery for me.
Back to the Brida story… I am already 50 pages in but I am hooked.
I know that when an avid reader finds a good book they must enjoy it slowly, because
who knows when it will happen again? It might take me days, months or years
before I stumble on another book that excites me just as much. Or worst case scenario
the beginning of a book draws me in, and then the plot betrays me and falls
apart, like a glass of accidentally spilled wine… then before I know it I’m lost
in an inescapable maze of a book that started off so well. I have read some reviews about the book on
Goodreads and I am a little deflated, I hope I won’t be disappointed like a majority
of readers. So for now I shall stick to writing about the first chapter. I may be
in denial. Oh well…
In the first chapter, Brida goes off to find a special
spiritual teacher, who decides for her first lesson, to leave her alone in a
forest at night. This would send any normal person into panic, but there are
some clever hidden lessons in this writing….
"There was only the strange noises. Brida felt dizzy with fear she thought she might faint. But she mustn’t. Now that she was quite sure he was nowhere around, fainting certainly wouldn’t help matters. she must stay in control." ~ Paulo Coelho
For me, this speaks about life in general. Life is hazy
sometimes. Often, I can’t see the bigger
picture. There are many times when we are trudging through the day by day routine,
unable to see the point of our existence or where we are going. It can be
disappointing, scary, boring and depressing. I have experienced moments when I have
just figured out one situation only to be thrust into another. It can be a
professional situation, a family situation, friends etc… How do we keep selves together
during those times? How can we learn to cope with dark situations? How do we
use them to our advantage?
“When she was a child, she would sometimes wake up in the middle of the night, feeling terrified. Her father would carry her to the window and show her the town where they lived. He would talk to her about the night watchmen, about the milkman who would already be delivering milk, about the baker baking daily bread. Her father was trying to drive out the monsters with which she’d filled the night and replaced them with the people who kept watch over the darkness. ”~ Paulo Coelho
There are so many
hidden messages in this one paragraph.
- Brida’s father showing her that the night is necessary in life.
- Her father showing her a different perspective to the darkness.
- Night is not just the absence of light, but a time which people use the precious quiet time to prepare for the day, even to keep others safe.
Then there is the
reference to the monsters Brida created.
Fear in our minds + cuppled with a lack of understanding of
the darkness + impatience = A whole
multitude of ‘monsters’.
Then as Brida takes us through the memory of her father’s
lesson, we are reminded as readers, that she is recalling all this while laying
alone in a forest where she was left by the teacher. She had to be still in the
moment to do this.
She had to find the stillness within her, in a frightening
situation.
She has to be patient with herself as she learns to navigate
through this strange experience.
How many times have
we been surprised by our own strength in unfamiliar challenging situations?
In the end, she makes it through the night and leaves the
forest in search of the next lesson. The fear is forgotten. She walks away with
the additional tools she needs to get through the next moment of darkness
"The night is just part of the day. Therefore she could feel as safe in the dark as she did in the light. It was the dark that made her invoke the protective presence. She must trust it. And that trust was called Faith. No one could understand Faith, but faith was what she was experiencing now, an inexplicable immersion in blackest night." ~ Paulo Coelho
I can’t wait to read the rest of the book…..
Quick Update....
The first chapter was the best and only good chapter in the book. I feel betrayed. (#JustMyOpinion)
Dear God,
I guess we are due for a check in.
First, I have hit a milestone in life and I just wanted to say THANK YOU!
Secondly, In 2014 I wasn't sure which direction you were pushing me in but it seems you knew what you were doing all a long. You also cleaned out a huge chunk of negative energy that was harming me in my professional life. I didn't realize it was harmful, till it all left. As usual you knew all along. I wonder what else you have planned for me. I surrender Lord. I am ready.
Before we continue I got the news that someone close to my family passed away. I pray they returned to you safely Lord. I know you were ready to welcome them home.
Let's now continue.
I watched a video today that taught me about forgiveness. This video made sense to me.
I feel like You and I are working on forgiveness right now, because a certain someone keeps coming back into my life. Well quite a few people keep coming back.... I am not sure what to do with them Lord. I realize, that they are fragile. I realize that they need help. That they are lost. However they are the type of people who can't see that within themselves. They are the type of people who can't see the value in getting help. Emotional wounds cut deep and they are in my humble experience the hardest to heal if the person won't admit they are hurting. The idea of being vulnerable is just too much for them. We have been wondering around this same lesson for quite some years now. It's like a stain in my window I can't remove. I keep pushing these people away, and they keep coming.
I have nothing but positive energy for them, but I can't physically show them because they hurt me in the past. The good news is I forgave them a while ago. I just don't want them in my life because, I forget so easily.
I am afraid if I forget I will welcome them back and they will hurt me again. So I have to put up walls.
But I want the narrative in my head to change. I no longer want to appear to be a 'cold' person just cause they are in the room. I want to be myself, and know that I won't be taken advantage of. I want to be at peace in my surroundings.
This whole forgiveness thing is not easy. I forgive them but I must prevent the same pattern from occurring again. So I shut them out. Shutting out people who don't know themselves or acknowledge the consequences of their actions is a LOT of work . It's hard work because I have to be a bit selfish and not explain myself. I don't want to be in that same sad space again. This is part of protecting myself. I really don't want to worry about the next time they are going to stab me in the back, so I must remove all opportunities for them to do so.
Can't I hand my deepest worries about the situation over to you God? You do know best. Can we stop the back and forth on this lesson now?
I think that's all for now, until the next letter
Love
Maria
Not trusting my gut when it comes to people.
That is the behavior that needed to change in me. I am learning to do this a lot more.
For the last few years I have not trusted my natural instinct. I have not trusted myself. When my gut told me that someone was really NOT good for me, I ignored my internal voice if everyone around me liked that person.
That is the behavior that needed to change in me. I am learning to do this a lot more.
For the last few years I have not trusted my natural instinct. I have not trusted myself. When my gut told me that someone was really NOT good for me, I ignored my internal voice if everyone around me liked that person.
Then one day, a colleague had the sense to tell me
about myself. I really needed that conversation because, every
moment of every day I was doubting myself and my ability to get things done. I
was scared all the time. I had gotten so used to being scared that I just accepted
fear as a constant companion. I lost my ability to be assertive, all because I let
a bunch of people get to me. I was hoping and praying that I could mold
myself into something different. Someone who fitted in more easily. I think
God knew I needed that particular conversation. I really think God saw that I
was struggling with myself and he said,
“ Wait a minute young lady, I don’t make mistakes, I made you for a purpose sweetheart. I know what I am doing. Trust me”
God spoke through this person. As I mentioned earlier, my colleague firmly told me about myself. This person insisted that I stop
hiding in the background and be myself. They told me that I was doing a good job
and that I needed to show more confidence in myself. That person basically gave me
back to myself through that conversation ( a real Oprah aha moment).
One valuable extra piece of advice they gave me,
“Stop panicking!”
I used to panic because I doubted my ability to handle the
situation. When I forced myself to stop being so anxious, I started to change. I
accepted that I can only give my 100% and leave the rest to God. I now trust
God to do what I have asked. I trust that God has my back. I learnt to trust myself and know that I can
handle the situation. God does listen and respond. It’s a relationship. It’s a
friendship for which I am grateful. All those private anxious thoughts I had, I had no
idea he was watching and listening. It’s
probably the reason I have gained weight, I can relax a little. I can have fun.
I am comfortable with myself.
I trust my gut, if it tells me someone is not good for me. I
trust it. People show you who they are eventually, trust God when he says it’s
not for you.
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