Dear God

Hi. How are you? Just taking some time to check in…

Sometimes I forget to do that.  I remember to pray but I forget all about the conversation. So here we go. Here I am. 

Firstly, thank you.

Thank you for being my best friend these last few months as promised.  

Thank you for showing up many times and showing out! You rock. You’re my ultimate. This year I promised that I would make an effort with our relationship. That I would put you first and treat you the way I would like to be treated in a healthy relationship. Surprisingly, it’s been great… You’ve made time for me in the strange ways that you do.

Thank you for opening my eyes. Thank you for allowing me to see people for what they really are. Thank you for giving me the confidence to trust my gut.  You remind me on a daily basis that you have something better in store. I am suddenly feeling inspired to write my first real bucket list, because I have no doubt you'll provide. I am in a good space now because of these regular check-ins whether verbal or written.

Thank you for reminding me that life is meant to be fun , and that when we stop trying to control it  we can start to enjoy it. I have learnt to make time to listen you. You’ve been consistent, you’ve showed me which hassle free steps to take. You really do have a sense of humor.....

Thank you for giving me the strength to leave some relationships behind. Especially, those that are not healthy, and also the friendships that are dying. I will no longer seek out people who do not value people. I will no longer look for friends who don’t make an effort to look for me. We are done with the emotionally draining circles. Most specifically, the ones created by narcissistic people. The one's who belittle and try to destroy the self- esteem of those around them just so they can feel better. We are done with those. I thought such horrible people were make-believe. Thank you for showing me that they exist in real life, and I am grateful you’ve insisted on me shutting those relationships down fast! Please now let's move on to the healthy relationships. I know you have never once said " I told you so..." but you really did tell me so. I learnt the lesson, I am ready for the good loyal people to enter my life now. I shall, (because you advised me too) continue to pray for those who have hurt me deeply on a professional and personal level, because I have now learnt in my heart and head the wisdom of Jesus’ words. But that’s all, I shall do. They are in your hands now. 

I am already looking forward to our next catch up

Forever yours,

Maria

#HappilyFlawed

I met Paulina* about two weeks ago in Masaka on International  Day of theAfrican Child.

It’s her bravery that stayed with me.

She is in her mid teen years but she’s already fought tough battles none of us will ever dream of, nor understand, and yet she’s not shy about speaking up for what she believes in.

When people stand up for what is right, despite the disapproval of others, I admire them. As we get older it tougher for adults to do. To survive in the adult world you must be part of the social circle and adher to the subtle rules. The ones that step outside may become GREAT, but the socials risks involved will deter many, therefore it is rarely encouraged. 

Let’s get back to story….

We arrived at Hotel  Brovad in Masaka around 9.40am. My colleagues and I were late. We had missed most of the children’s roundtable discussion with Government representatives. 

In the last 30 minutes the MC asked the children, “Children, does anyone have anything else to say to the adults?”

After three or four children had spoken, up went Paulina, given her skin you really couldn’t help noticing her, grabbing the mic she confidently stated. “Children like me want to be treated like everyone else, we can run, we jump, we can play. We shouldn’t be left out. The Government should consider us too!”

Shortly afterwards the discussion concluded, but I was curious about her story and what had prompted her to speak out so loudly and assertively. We all made our way to  the grounds where the celebrations would continue, I sought out the MC of the roundtable discussion to see if I could learn more about Paulina.

When I found her, she agreed to share some of her story. Because she’s a minor I have changed her name and used a picture without her face.

Paulina says her eyesight is a problem, she’s been out of school for a year so that she could get a special operation. The operation helped, but she still has sight problems because in school when it rains her classroom becomes dark and she can’t see the board. When I asked if she had electricity in school, she said they did, but her classroom’s light wasn’t working and they had neglected to fix it.

“ Other classrooms have light.” She said

Paulina told me that children like her have to put special ointment on their skin but not everyone can afford it. These are the things she wants the government to consider supporting.

“They make huge difference in a child’s life.” She said.

She told me she is brave because she comes from a loving family , that’s why she can speak up for herself,

“Many children like me don’t come from a good family. School is difficult if your teachers don’t understand. They are scared to be themselves, to be free. I want to be a human rights lawyer when I grow up, so that I can speak for children like me.” She told me.

That is what this blog #HappilyFlawed is about. It’s about being comfortable in your own skin, no pun intended, and sharing your life lessons with others. It’s about accepting that we can’t be perfect and there is no need to be. We should just happily be ourselves.

Thank for sharing Paulina! #BraveGirls #HappilyFlawed

Albinism is a rare, genetically inherited condition found in all ethnicities. People with albinism have little or no pigmentation in their eyes, hair and skin owing to a lack of melanin. They are sensitive to bright light and have a higher than average risk of skin cancer from sun exposure. Most people with albinism are also visually impaired. To find out more about Albinism click here

So I traveled to Masaka on Thursday to support with Day of the African Child Activities in Uganda

I was only supposed to be there for the day but my colleagues neglected to mention until 4.00pm that we were staying the night . These colleague were older than me, one was in the same age bracket as my aunties yet she reminded me that age does come with maturity.  I was tired from the day and irritated by their sheepish apologies so I retreated to my room.

Luckily this is the district where my mother comes from. So I called my Aunty, my mother’s sister, and explained the dilemma.

She arrived 20 minutes earlier than the time we agreed. She hugged me longer than the time that normal people do. Her eyes looked me up and down, the way mothers do. She wanted to check and see that I was telling the truth. 

Her eyes asked me questions too.

Are you hiding something from me?

Are your really okay?

No matter how much you have grown into an adult I think your elders will always see the child inside you. The child that is masked by an adult body.

She apologized to me that she couldn’t pick me up in a car, as my Uncle was still busy working. I didn't need her to pick me up in car, but she felt it was important too.Then she took my hand and we walked to the town center. It was quiet evening in Masaka, there was no  traffic. We could chat not disturbed or disoriented by bleeping horns or flashing car lights, we could cross the road without trying to dodge the cars of angry drivers. We quickly visited the shops of my all my aunties and uncles that were still in town, then we collected all the things I needed for my unexpected sleepover. She held my hand the whole time like I was still a toddler.

When we reached her home she made me tea, she refused to allow me in the kitchen to help. She quickly rushed to the nearby shop to buy one mandazi , which she then cut into four smaller pieces just for me.

Then she joined me for tea and we talked. She told me all the things about me she was worried about. She told me all the things about my siblings she was worried about. Then she proceeded to tell me all the things I needed to do. That lovely motherly advice that helps you check to see if you are on track in this world.

My uncle returned and they dropped me back at the hotel. But not before she handed me a huge pawpaw and some sugar cane for my brothers and their families

Since I my mother died, I had forgotten what that feels like...

When someone is really concerned about your wellbeing

The picture above was taken on the journey back. I wanted to remind myself to write about this.

I scrolled through my photos today while having breakfast, I saw the picture and remembered.

So here I am posting this.

I miss you mum.

And thank you Aunty