Showing posts with label #IhaveAShepherd. Show all posts
Showing posts with label #IhaveAShepherd. Show all posts
Dear God,
This week I learnt a few things…
- When you say you’ve got it, you really do have it!
- I must get in the habit of listening. I must be still and listen to you, no judgements. (SIDE NOTE: I would have loved to see Noah’s face when you told him what you required him to do.)
- My thoughts matter. I know… it’s REALLY cliché but “ Stay positive” and keeping them clean is real. Very real.
- You are taking my commitment seriously.. How!? I can’t explain but It’s official, you’re a keeper. Not just something I am obligated to do, but a choice.
I experienced some negativity from someone last week. You advised me to sit still; “Don’t react!” you said. I thought you were
crazy! But okay, you’ve been around, and you do know your people, so I did what you asked me to do. To my dropped jaw surprise, within five
minutes the person tried to make up for their behavior. Now I know you did not
control their reactions, but your advice saved me from judging someone harshly.
They were under pressure; a bad reaction from me would have made it worse.
Thank you. I will listen to you more often. Clearly you know what you are
doing.
On the subject of my my internal thought process….. I do.
Yes I openly admit I do expect the worst. The conversations I have in my head need to be
disinfected with a good cleaner. They
are a defense mechanism. They help me prepare for the worst. I learnt this from the book I am current reading
called Daring Greatly. What it says
is true. In the moment we humans experience joy, our next thought is
something bad will happen. I am one of those people that believe that doom and
gloom is out there somewhere waiting to pounce on me. We usually say “The Devil
is at work…..” I can’t experience a happy moment without looking over my back.
I need to stop doing this. If I am going to trust you, then I have to try and
stop doing this. I can’t stop the bad
things from happening, but maybe I need to trust that am old enough to know how
to deal with them the best way I can? What do you think? I shall wait for your wisdom.
And thirdly, I am so surprised at the ways you use to
communicate. Why am I surprised though? Creativity came from you! I mean you
are the ultimate. Seriously, Let’s continue. I made a commitment which it seems
you heard, and you made one too.
Once again thank you for my lessons.
I can’t wait for the next letter.
Maria
#HappilyFlawed
So I traveled to Masaka on Thursday to support with Day of
the African Child Activities in Uganda
I was only supposed to be there for the day but my colleagues
neglected to mention until 4.00pm that we were staying the night . These colleague
were older than me, one was in the same age bracket as my aunties yet she
reminded me that age does come with maturity. I was tired from the day and irritated by
their sheepish apologies so I retreated to my room.
Luckily this is the district where my mother comes from. So
I called my Aunty, my mother’s sister, and explained the dilemma.
She arrived 20 minutes earlier than the time we agreed. She
hugged me longer than the time that normal people do. Her eyes looked me up and
down, the way mothers do. She wanted to check and see that I was telling the
truth.
Her eyes asked me questions too.
Are you hiding something from me?
Are your really okay?
No matter how much you have grown into an adult I think your
elders will always see the child inside you. The child that is masked by an
adult body.
She apologized to me that she couldn’t pick me up in a car,
as my Uncle was still busy working. I didn't need her to pick me up in car, but she felt it was important too.Then she took my hand and we walked to the town center. It
was quiet evening in Masaka, there was no traffic. We could chat not disturbed or
disoriented by bleeping horns or flashing car lights, we could cross the road
without trying to dodge the cars of angry drivers. We quickly visited the shops
of my all my aunties and uncles that were still in town, then we collected all
the things I needed for my unexpected sleepover. She held my hand the whole
time like I was still a toddler.
When we reached her home she made me tea, she refused to allow
me in the kitchen to help. She quickly rushed to the nearby shop to buy one mandazi
, which she then cut into four smaller pieces just for me.
Then she joined me for tea and we talked. She told me all
the things about me she was worried about. She told me all the things about my
siblings she was worried about. Then she proceeded to tell me all the things I
needed to do. That lovely motherly advice that helps you check to see if you
are on track in this world.
My uncle returned and they dropped me back at the hotel. But
not before she handed me a huge pawpaw and some sugar cane for my brothers and
their families
Since I my mother died, I had forgotten what that feels like...
When someone is really concerned about your wellbeing
The picture above was taken on the journey back. I wanted to remind myself to write about this.
I scrolled through my photos today while having breakfast, I
saw the picture and remembered.
So here I am posting this.
I miss you mum.
And thank you Aunty
I was feeling a bit down yesterday. One of my best friends (and mentor) said let's meet up for a coffee, so we did. What followed was long conversation on God. She reminded me to say my prayers and trust that God had my back. It's funny because months ago I did the same thing for her, I told her to pray, I told her to trust that God wanted the best for her, despite what everyone said. I made a list of which psalms she should say, I even sent her prayers through whatsapp. I had faith. I had an immense amount of faith that God was there just waiting for her to allow him/her to help. And she started to say the prayers, and I believe God is doing wonders in her life.
I want to say thank you. Thank you God for reminding me through my friend that you have my back.
I have a shepherd, who loves me.
I have a Shepherd who wants the best for me, even when I cannot imagine such good for myself.
Sometimes I struggle with it
But I will allow myself to be guided by #TheShepherd
#Psalm23
#IHaveAShepherd
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