Dearest Mum,
I am sitting here having my morning cup of coffee on the verandah.
The neighborhood cockerels are cock-ka-doodle-doing,
The day is beginning,
the sunlight is inviting,
and my self sabotaging mind is already at work.
I have been dating this man for a while now, and I really want your opinion.
I want to know some more about you and Dad.
I have some questions.
Am I subconsciously choosing the same ending?
Am I unknowingly taking the same steps you both made?
I am scared Mum.
I want to hear your calm reassuring voice again.
I want you to impart your wisdom as I carelessly listen.
I want us to laugh over my silly thoughts, 'modern' perspectives and shallow conclusions.
I want to take you out to my new fave restaurant and spoil you as you complain or rather 'comment' on how recklessly I spend my money.
I want you to nudge me into the right direction,
and ease my anxieties about my decisions on this journey
But I know if your busy -body -self was here,
you would scold me for wasting this precious gift of a morning just wanting and wishing.
I must get up off of Dad's rocking chair and go about my day.
I must fulfill my purpose like you raised me too.
...
Always missing, loving and praying for you,
Your only daughter.
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