God Said, " No, Please Don't Write From There.... "

I wanted to write from a sad dark twisted disrespectful place,

because it is easy for me.

Second nature.

But God said, "No, please don't write from there."

I had forgotten once again, 

 even though we (God & I) have  been on this self -love journey for a long while.

You see I was starting to believe two hurt fools.

 They keep projecting their sense of worthlessness onto me.

Drumming , Drumming & Drumming... 

I have this talent, I can mentally self-flagellate excellently. 

Most likely because I am a Catholic.

When someone starts to beat me down, I instinctively join them.

I help them choose the stick, the whip, the chains, the knife, the words. 

No questions asked.

No doubt in  my mind that I deserve to be taken down.

"It MUST be me," my mind with automatically say

"I must be the problem."

So I had the pen in my hand,

 and the paper, ready for the first draft.

I saved the title on Blogger in the Drafts' section

I didn't want to not write about this...

But God said to me 

"I told you NO!

Don't ...please don't  write from there."