I first heard the statement "All attack is a call for help" in my teenage years, I was most likely watching something profound like the Oprah show, but I am not so sure.
I really miss Oprah's presence on my TV screen, that show was worth every Emmy it worn....Anyway the statement stuck and remained in my head, even though I was yet to understand the true meaning of it. It is attributed to the book A Course in Miracles. Never read the book but maybe that will change one day.
Then in my late teens or early 20's I came across it again while attending university. I bought the book A Conversation with God by Neale Donald Walsch-Book 1. Love the book, because it is such a wonderful way to trigger personal and internal conversations about how we form our relationship with God. For those of us brought up in strict faiths ( I am a Catholic) sometimes we need to read and appreciate such perspectives.
I accept that human beings are complicated.
We are stubbornly complex.
This is not going to change any time soon, as a species we are both a miracle and a parasite at the same time according to
Yuval Noah Harari. I am writing this post because someone has walked into my life who 'hates' me for no reason..... this is not the first person to behave towards me this way; usually my coping mechanism is to behave like the memes below....
Then I rake my brain trying my best to find the reason they are behaving this way.
"I must have done something ... but what?
If I did contribute to the negativity, I am always happy to initiate an apology and find a way forward but on some rare-impactful occasions, the person hates me because I exist. Just the sight of me is a trigger to a well of discomfort and uncontrollably rage. The person will then proceed to be petty and passive aggressive in ways that baffle and confound me. On this occasion it is a person in a position of power ; I get belittled, isolated and gas lit on a weekly basis. All forms of what I remember we called
'girl bullying' /relational bullying when I was studying my first university degree.
A month ago, when I finally realized what was happening , I wasn't as broken and dejected as the first time, however inside me was a cake of confusion, hurt and sadness iced with helplessness and hopelessness. Fortunately,
I returned to my former tactics.
I remembered to say my prayers. Most importantly I did what my father had told me, I didn't let it distract me from my work, because that is what bullies want; their victims underperforming and failing.
I fought quietly for myself and asked God for those little pockets opportunities he provides to show the people that need to see what I could do, a chance to see it. He came through as always.
Hurt people, hurt people they say.
I allow 'having a bad day', even 'having bad weeks' , we all have them, we all have our struggles, but when you are determined to destroy people's spirits then I have to say .....no more excuses and God will decide what grace you deserve.
No compassion left in me towards them, they have exhausted it ALL...In God's hands they must go.
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