Hurt People Hurt People Bla Bla Bla....

Wednesday, 7 September 2022


I first heard the statement  "All attack is a call for help" in my teenage years, I was most likely watching something profound like the Oprah show, but I am not so sure. 

I really miss  Oprah's presence on my TV screen, that show was worth every Emmy it worn....Anyway the statement stuck and remained in my head, even though I was yet to understand the true meaning of it. It is attributed to the book  A Course in Miracles. Never read the book but maybe that will change one day.   

Then in my late teens or early 20's I came across it again while attending university. I bought the book A Conversation with God by Neale Donald Walsch-Book 1. Love the book, because it is such a wonderful way to trigger personal and internal conversations about how we form our relationship with God.  For those of us brought up in strict faiths ( I am a Catholic) sometimes we need to read and appreciate such perspectives. 

I accept that human beings are complicated.

We are stubbornly complex.

This is not going to change any time soon, as  a species we are both a miracle and a parasite at  the same time according to  Yuval Noah Harari. I  am writing  this post because someone has walked into my life who 'hates' me for no reason..... this is not the first person to behave towards me this way;  usually my coping mechanism is to behave like the memes below....

Then I  rake my brain trying my best to find the reason they are behaving this way. 

"I  must have  done something ... but what? 

If I did contribute to the negativity,  I am  always happy to initiate an  apology and find a way forward but on some rare-impactful  occasions, the person hates me because I exist. Just the sight of me is a trigger to a well of discomfort and uncontrollably  rage. The person will then proceed to be petty and passive aggressive in ways that baffle and confound me. On this occasion it is a person in a position of power ; I get belittled, isolated and gas lit on a weekly basis. All forms of what I remember we called 'girl bullying' /relational bullying when I was studying my first university degree. 

A month ago, when I finally realized what was happening , I wasn't as broken and dejected as the first time, however inside me was a cake of confusion, hurt and sadness iced with helplessness and hopelessness. Fortunately,  I returned to my former tactics. I remembered to say my prayers. Most importantly I did what my father had told me, I didn't let it distract me from my work, because that is what bullies want; their victims underperforming and failing. 

I fought quietly for myself and asked God for those little pockets opportunities he provides to show the people that need to see what  I could do, a chance to see it. He came through as always.

Hurt people, hurt people they say.

I allow  'having a bad day', even 'having bad weeks' , we all have them, we all have our struggles, but when you are determined to destroy people's spirits then I have to say more excuses and God will decide what grace you deserve.

No compassion left in me towards them, they have exhausted it ALL...In God's hands they must go. 

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