This stubborn fear.
A persistent and committed fear that sounds the alarm at 10.00 am on Sunday
or 1.00 am every other day.
This bright lazy Sunday with crusty fairy dust still at the corners of my eyes,
I recognized her for what she was.
Little Maria screaming for attention inside of me.
She is frustrated, flustered and uncomfortable.
Petrified that we will make the same mistakes again.
"What are you doing?"
"Have we not learnt our lessons from the past?"
"Trust?"
"There is no trust."
We can't trust humans with our whole self like that.
They let us down.
They hurt us.
"Stop, forgetting."
"Stop getting comfortable."
She is sooo loud and sooo defiant
that I wonder if everyone else can hear her too.
Are you struggling with an anxious attachment style too?
Share your experience in the comments.
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