I have been reflecting on my own death—not death in general, just mine.

Last year, I became very sick. According to my medical files, I was dying when I arrived at the hospital. I had no idea how serious it was—I just thought I had the flu and felt unusually weak. I woke up days later on a ventilator in the ICU, completely unaware of where I was or why I was there. It was the sickest I have ever been and the longest character-building recovery I have faced. My mum would know best, I doubt she would contest but she isn't here for me to ask.

My siblings and extended family had to go through it all from afar because I am here in Italy alone. The hospital staff and my colleagues stepped in to help me in ways I never expected. It was so serious that one of my brothers had to eventually travel here and help me for almost three months. I will never be able to thank them all enough. They saved my life and cared for me with so much kindness and grace.

Like many others, I avoided thinking about it. I foolishly thought I still had time. But remembering how quickly, unknowingly and 'quietly' I almost went to meet my Maker last year has made me realize it's time to start having those scary discussions. 

If I die in another country, should my family pay to bring my body back? What options do they have? Please God, when you decide to take me, let it be when I am back home.

In Uganda, people attend funerals whether they know the person or not. Grief is a community activity. How will they feed people at mine? What about the tents and white plastic chairs? Food, the ladies who cook, tents and chairs can be expensive. And what about the prayers and the vigils? Who should inherit what, and do they know where everything is?

I would appreciate the prayers and one good small mass, but I wouldn't want unnecessary money spent that could be used elsewhere. The current economy is tough one.

Yap😓...It really is time for me to start having these conversations and begin writing a will.

What about you? Have you thought about these things yet? I know.... it's an awkward question, so no need to share in the comments, but do take some time to reflect.