Tuesday, 3 November 2015

“Is Your Attention on Your Intention?” Says Oprah.

I wrote this a year ago.....

I’ve finally picked up the pen to write. It’s 2.41am. This nagging inspiration is back again and it’s not going away. I’m choosing to write about life. My life specifically.  
Since I’m awake at 2.41am in the morning because of my life, let's make a list of all the things churning around in my head....

  •  I’m learning that my childhood heroes are flawed. 
  • That most people who interact with me judge me based on what they see, and not who I am inside.
  • That I’m tired. Very tired. 
  • That I will fail to sleep some nights and the only person who understands this is my father, because coincidentally, he is also awake at the same time too!
  • That I have this crazy notion in my head that I was born to write and no matter how much I ignore or discourage this thought my creativity will spew out in other areas of my life. 
  • That I am a creative person who just happens to be an introvert. I don't quite understand how this will work, but I shall play along with God and see what happens...
  • That I must keep my mother’s legacy alive. 
  • That if you don’t love yourself it will play out in other areas of your life. For example, I spend my money recklessly and I dated a not-so-nice-guy #NoSwearingButIwishIcould .
  • Thankfully, I forgive myself for dating him because I now understand the grieving process.
  • Unfortunately, I haven’t forgiven myself for spending my own hard earned money on frivolous things.
  • That there are awkward, painful and regretful  moments in life and yet  I’ve survived all this and woken up to sunny mornings to start the process of life all over again.
  • That I love watching the bliss and wonder in the eyes of my nieces and nephews as they discover the world. I enjoy seeing how parenthood has changed my brothers and my sister for the better. 
  • Now that I understand loss, I take the time to appreciate small moments of God’s grace.
  •  I take time for quietness, prayer and meditation, because as an introvert I need that time to myself after a long day. Very few people understand this but that's okay. 
  • Oh and I also take time to laugh with my closest friends. And by the way, sometimes, yes… sometimes someone catches that bliss and wonder in my eyes too and it engulfs them and then they have to smile too!
Okay now I can finally go to bed!

What do your late night ramblings consist of? Please share by commenting below.

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