It's 8.00 pm in Kitgum District.

The hot spell has followed us from the capital to the town 

It's the type of devilish heat that suffocates,

The type that will sneak up on you if you don't pace yourself & stay hydrated,

The type that teaches you the art of patience & presence on an afternoon field mission,

The type that makes a cold shower after a long day in the dust and sun, a  glorious blessing.

The dog days of Uganda are here,

A whole month late by the way... 

I am sprawled across my hotel room bed,
And I can confirm the top covers will remain unused for the rest of the week.

My mosquito net is already in place, but I hear none circling the bed posts.

My fan is on full BLAST!
The warm air in here must not settle or become stagnant

I am scared  the fan will fly of the wall at any moment and sever my head,
 because of it's unstable buzzing spin.
I can't switch it off  because I need it.
But...  it sounds mad, real mad at the world.
Maybe the fluctuating electricity from the generator is overwhelming the poor thing.
But I can't turn it off.
The one window in my hotel room must remain shut.
My door must  stay locked. 

As a woman, I don't have the luxury of taking such chances.

Good news is, it's been raining since 4.00 pm.

We were all relieved to see the swollen grey clouds taking siege of the sky
 to announce the arrival of  the rain.
Yet the heat has  only slightly relented.

Yesterday my brother called, our Jajja is unwell.

 my siblings and I need to go see her as soon as possible.

I have just got off the phone with Dad, 

Anytime my father says he's unwell

I am triggered, especially when I am miles away. 

I still have work assignments to complete, but my mind needs to settle and focus.

I am waiting for the enchanting silence of the midnight hour. 

So I reshuffle the tasks of my evening routine

I kneel  to pray.

I google Psalm 51 on my phone,

 and the strangest thought occurs to me,

What if I could go back 10 years with all the knowledge I have now about  life....

Would my prayers have been any different?

I know immediately that they would be the same,
though with some new additions.

So many things swirl in my mind,
that I spend a full 30 minutes astray in the forest that is my thoughts
And then I recall what I knelt down to do,
I finish my task and get up off my knees.

Have you ever thought about it to?

Would your prayers have been different knowing what you know now?