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| I'll just work on taking care of myself the best I can |
My personal journey to this point has
taken TIME. Much more time and energy than I would have liked but such is the
process of growth. I am sure we all still carry around with us some unhealed hurts from our
teenage years. Memories
of non-acceptance can emotionally scar us. It’s just part of this
whole-living-your-life-process. The right tools
don’t always make their way into our hands and often people will look at us as ‘weak’
if we want to address emotional issues. One of the things I have struggled to deal
with is my skin issues. When I say skin issues I mean my lack of ‘flawless’
skin. The pressure to look physically 'amazing' is always there. The struggle started in my teens and depending on my priorities I can always drown it out but it will always be there. I call this struggle the skin wars, because it felt like I was battling with my
skin. I mean the way our skin looks can
be tied to our self esteem in such a way that the journey ends up being an internal
one before anyone can fix the external. Yes that cliche talk about people working
on their inner wellbeing does apply here, maybe some miracle creams and
procedures out there do work but some of us haven't got Beyoncé or JLO money so we just have to learn to get comfortable with what we DO have.
My skin wars began in my teens; the year
my hormones kicked into gear. The minute I hit puberty I stopped being the cute
little girl. Every thing stretched and got wider and bigger except my boobs and
my voice. I don’t remember the first pimple I got, in fact I can’t tell when
exactly the pimples and rashes started but they did. I wonder whether that’s a testament
to the way my parents had brought up my
siblings and I, that I had never considered the fact that my looks were tied
too my value; I was already accepted and loved. Anyways one day my Dad
came home with Oxy facial products, he sat me down and explained how to use them. That’s
when I realised that my appearance REALLY mattered. From then I became aware of people's reactions
to my skin. People offer unsolicited opinions all the time, you can enter a shop looking for shampoo and the assistant immediately starts telling you about their best selling skin care range. I feel like rather than just look for what was best for my body and skin
I was taught to fight the pimples which I did for very long while after that.
By 2014 I know I had bought and tried
every product available on a student budget and working woman budget ( this is an exaggeration
I didn't buy ALL of them but I bought many many many products!) and actually introducing the famous salicylic acid to my skin
made it worse. The amount of high to low end products I used on my skin without research is
incredible. It was war. I was fighting against the pimples, thinking that I could
tame my skin....
‘Reduce oil production’
‘Unclog clogged pores’
‘Eliminate black heads’
‘Matte skin with a healthy glow no shine for
8 hours’
‘75% reduction in the appearance of spots
in just three hours’
Remember all those slogans? They still use
them today. I even tried tooth paste
because my mum came home with a ‘success’ story from a co-worker. Worst of all I even
tried baking powder, it totally dried out my skin, my skin looked terribly dry.
As I approached my mid twenties with no
sign of change or improvement I felt deflated, I decided
to be passive aggressive towards my own skin. I would just spend as little
time as possible on it. I was convinced my skin was a rebel.
I gave up on cream washes, scrubs, and special
moisturizers for acne; tired of spending huge amounts of money only
to see the results disappear after a month. Of course this reflected on my self
esteem but I always brushed it off. I could not wear cover up make up because
that would just aggravate my skin more.
Now because I am working on a relationship with
God and trying have honest conversations. I prayed about it. It was an issue
that was disturbing me.
With my new commitment I had to mention it. I had to give God the benefit
of the doubt even if I felt it was vain to pray about skin.
Well I am not sure if God answered my
prayers I just noticed one day that when I stopped using castor oil on my hair
the pimples stopped coming. When my 'expensive' moisturizer finished, I started using a sample of Livara Shea Butter product I had bought from EnrviriZaNacho. Bella the owner of the shop insisted it would help, and because this was ANOTHER unsolicited opinion on my skin I nodded believing she was just trying to get her next sale. But she was right. I knew I’d caught on to
something, because when I travelled upcountry for work my skin didn’t break out. I waited
and waited but the break out never came. Now I am mad because all a long I should have been using a product that my African ancestors knew was 'tried and tested' for thousands of years. Turns out raw Shea Butter has a ton of benefits! Google it. I can tell you that my skin feels fantastic! I don’t care
what flaws anyone sees now it’ s soooo much better than where it was and for that
reason I am happy. I am also a loyal Livara customer (note: I have not been paid to write this. )
I guess all I needed to do is learn to
listen and pay attention to my body's needs. I found something that works for me and that is something I hope to
teach my children.
The war is over. We are at peace now.
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| Inspiration + food = Fantastic! |
I am heading for Dine and Dream 2017 on Friday 6th January(that's tomorrow). I paid for my ticket and they sent me an e-mail with homework. Yes they gave me homework… and guess what they give me homework before Christmas day!? Who does that? Only people with a REAL VISION for their event I guess. And if I want to be a person with a workable VISION for 2017, I must continue to do this grown-up home work even on the most sacred of holidays. In case you haven’t heard already, Dine and Dream is a seven hour ‘power packed event’ taking place at Silver Springs Hotel. The theme this year is “looking with innovative eyes for breakthrough results”, and the guest speak is Mr. Julian Kyula, co-founder and Group CEO of MODE, Nairobi.
“I spoke at Stanford a couple of years ago and I was amazed to hear that everyone wanted to be an entrepreneur, and I thought that was such an interesting thing to say because usually you find your passion and you become an entrepreneur by nature of what your passion is and figure that out, I think people need to pay their dues a bit and be open to learning I don't think that everyone can all of a sudden have a start up, it's good to get some experience under your belt.”
As a result of the epiphany in the paragraph above, the anticipation of attending this event has inspired me to clearly articulate my goals without any unhealthy emotional attachment to them. Not only to articulate the goals but to start laying out the steps I will take to achieve them. And here is my DISCLAMER full of wisdom: If I make them happen fantastic, if not it doesn’t make me any less of a person. What matters most to me is that I attempted to with some serious gusto! I hope it’s the same story for you. Also don't forget even the 'small' dreams count...
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