Monday, 18 July 2016

Why I Called My Blog Happily Flawed...

Forgive the mistakes please...






I needed a place to write.

I needed to commit myself to something that required me to write regularly.

I needed to get over the fear of people's  judgment and their expectations.

Someone, somewhere once said “ Life is For living…”. Wonder who said it….
This is me living. Influential Women are now doing great things in the media that change the narrative. This is the start of me joining the call. 

The name “Happily Flawed” occurred to me after sending a friend a guest post. I’d gone on this wonderful writing retreat two weeks before and on the application I had put “Start a successful blog.” 

I told myself I need to just create the blog, and fix it up along the way, in order to master the courage to hit the ‘publish’ button.  It was another chance I was taking in my life, like the time I ran for Vice President of the International Students’ Society at University. Just me trying to discover what is possible. (btw....I won! yes this strange girl rocks!)

I want to tell you that the name was extremely random but the more I write and experience my life since I started it, I have no doubt my  subconscious picked it out knowing that it would be an ongoing theme in my life.

I am tired. I am grateful….. but I have to be honest, I am  tired of people who are NOT my family or friends pointing out what is wrong with me. I dislike it when people judge other before they know them. I hate the fact that we put people into boxes based on their clothes, their accent, the car they drive, their social media status...

I am not perfect, but can I hope we can do better?

I have been reading a great book by Brene Brown and I am having all sorts of epiphanies, I feel like I have been slapped into ALL SORTS OF CONSCIOUSNESS. I am still rubbing my cheeks in shock….


 “Owning our story can be hard but not nearly as difficult as spending our lives running from it. Embracing our vulnerabilities is risky but not nearly as dangerous as giving up on love and belonging and joy—the experiences that make us the most vulnerable. Only when we are brave enough to explore the darkness will we discover the infinite power of our light.”
Brené Brown


You know, I know very well as an African I am not meant to be emotional, or vulnerable
Heck, I am not supposed to show my feelings in uncontrolled ways….


 “You are imperfect, you are wired for struggle, but you are worthy of love and belonging.”
Brené Brown



Yet here I am writing on my blog, sometimes exposing my heartfelt thoughts. This is one of my flaws. This is something I have been doing naturally since I don’t know when. I felt shy about it. I felt wrong about it. I felt shame. 
 

“Vulnerability is the birthplace of innovation, creativity and change.”
Brené Brown



Now at 30 years old, I care less. I still care but it’s a whole lot less! This is one of the ways I am discovering my writing. I make mistakes.  I have flaws. I am not perfect I have a weird accent, I have lisp. L.I.S.P. ( wait... is that how you spell it?!) I have a high voice. I have sensitive skin that just about does it’s own thing. Stop trying to share remedies with me, I have tried every one. Now I am living. Yes, I have put on weight, but I am not obese … FYI I am exercising to be healthy not to be the same size I was when I was twelve!!  I am an introvert, and yes people scare me, which makes me awkward, but when I am passionate about something I become an extrovert. (Don’t hate on me.) I am not clever, but trust me if I want something I will figure it out. I don’t need to shine all the time I’d rather my work shine for me. I like hanging out with my family and my best friends.
 
I am not perfect and I am okay with that. There is more to life than being perfect and fitting everyone’s expectations and I hope this space allows for others to be themselves. Criticism is good, it helps to better a person, but sometimes you have to tell the difference between someone helping you and someone unaware of their own insecurities. 

This is the reason I write on this blog. It is here so that I can remind myself to be myself, and not try to fit into people’s expectations or unreasonable standards. That means the writing will sometimes be terrible. Oh well….

“Authenticity is a collection of choices that we have to make every day. It's about the choice to show up and be real. The choice to be honest. The choice to let our true selves be seen.”
Brené Brown


 If you’d like to share anything that fits in this theme then send me an e-mail or comment below. That’s what this blog is for. For you and all your flaws, including your randomness. 

There... you’ve been warned about my randomness. Don’t waste your time trying to fix it. Move on! I am living. Happily Flawed.

Love and Hugs
Maria

4 comments:

  1. at 40+ years of age I now realise growing up means taking full charge and responsibilty of your life and doing the things you do because YOU want to do them. Not society, your friends, peers, family, religion, race, tribe etc etc but you yourself. It of course begins by knowing what you want to do in life. Which in turn begins by trying out al things you have a chance to try out - not just the fun / easy stuff but everything that opportunity throws your way. Based on this I also now realise that only a blessed few people on this planet will ever be adults

    ReplyDelete
  2. You know Alex, totally agree with you. I am only just learning how to make my own decisions and not to try so hard to fit to everybody's expectations. This life was made for living. Sadly some people don't grasp the opportunity to REALLY live, or to really choose for themselves. Meanwhile Thank you for reading! Always appreciated.

    ReplyDelete
  3. As you can tell, I am binge reading your blog posts right now hehehe. I came up for a breath from my data analysis which is taking up my life. Anywho, I love love love this post. I was recently reading through all my past journals and was like wow, all I really wanted to do was conform, conform, conform. Conform to what is "pretty" or "popular." I slowly realized what a waste of time that was. Everyone has unique attributes and God given talents that we need to embrace. We all have something to offer and it is shame that we don't fully want to be ourselves sometimes (me included). Every so often I have to remind myself its okay to be ME (with all my quirks & flaws)! Anyway, I am glad you joined the blogosphere! You are a great added voice!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks you for reading Liz, feel free to binge read on my blog any time hehehehe..... and also thank you sharing your #HappilyFlawed struggle. We're all in this together, as Alex said above it better to be aware of it than totally clueless. We must start from some where right?

      Delete