Random Early Morning Thoughts - Karamoja, Uganda

just imagine....we need this feature film to happen.

Day 1

4.00 am: It's dark everywhere, which means power (electricity) has gone.
In Uganda electricity can 'leave' and not tell us when it will return.

6.00 am: Must drink my small bottle of water.
Why?
Because access to toilets during the day is limited.
I need my body to hydrate and cleanse itself before we hit the road for work.
So glug glug glug... 

6.30 am: Who is that confused man loudly conversating across the hotel courtyard ?
And who is that woman replying in high pitched excitement?
Why are they so pleased with themselves so early in the morning?
She must be cleaning I can hear the splash of the rag cloth disturbing the bucket of water. 
I can hear the effort in her voice as she scrubs. 

Don't they know some of us enjoy quiet starts to the day, 
beneath the blanket warmth of our beds?

7.00 am: I really don't want to shower with cold water.

Day 2

6.00 am: Lately waking up for me has been a first world problem.

My mind is ready, my body isn't.

It's sluggish and slow.

I hear my  mind sing to my body every morning,

"Time to get up!"

And I hear my body grumpily reply,

"What's the point?"

7.00 am: cold shower again...

8.00 am: Once I have got through my morning routine,
 sat down for hot fresh katogo, 
I am actually fine.

I am surprisingly eager to begin today's activities.

Day 3

5.oo am: If I really want to know how  I feel about something,

I ponder on it first thing, ahead of the the crack of dawn.
Before that first light slips past the wonky slit in the hotel curtains

those virgin thoughts,

those untainted feelings,

those are the authentic ones.
I listen to those.

7.00 am:  Really really don't want to shower with cold water

Day 4

4.30 am: I have discovered the best prayers are the one's said in the morning.
Before the cockerel crows
Before my first yawn,
Before my first stretch,
Before I rub the tiny sticky fairy dust off my eyes, 
I begin my conversation with God.
6.30 am: On my knees, head bowed low, I continue with prayer.
7.00 am: Really really really don't want to shower with cold water.

"What seem our worst prayers may really be, in God's eyes, our best.
Those, I mean, which are least supported by devotional feeling.
For these may come from a deeper level than feeling.
God sometimes seems to speak to us most intimately when he catches us…off our guard."
CSLewis

*The minions are the result of discovering Facebook stories

Dear Queen: For you, the disillusioned one...

Dear Queen,

 Kindly allow me carry out my friendship duties, and dispense the little  bit of wisdom I have about this junction in your life.

Take my advice in good faith though, I am speaking with good intentions but you must remember it's still  based on my perspective, and you need to take into account your own opinion and many others too.

May I suggest we start with the Bible?

I am not a Pastor...so you'll just have to flip through the old testament until you stumble on

ECCLESIASTICS  

I used to avoid this book of bible, the only part I was comfortable reading  was "A Time for Everything" and that was because of the movie 'A Walk To Remember'. Back then, I was a Mandy Moore Fan.

Before we proceed, first be warned, you will need to learn to continually cheer yourself in this phase of life. It is a tough internal battle and requires mental strength. Your ideas of the world will change, your goals will too. To survive, you will have to spend time assessing, re-adjusting and forging new plans.

"I accomplished great things, I built myself houses and planted vineyards, with all kinds of fruit trees in them. I dug ponds to irrigate them. I bought many slaves, and there were slaves born in my household. I owned more livestock than anyone else who had ever lived. I also piled up  sliver and gold  from royal treasuries of the lands I ruled.  Men and women sang to entertain me..." ( Ecclesiastes 2 : 4 -9)

" Then I thought about all that I had done and how hard I had worked doing it, and realized that it didn't mean a thing. It was all like chasing the wind- of no use at all."(Ecclesiastes 2: 11)

" We leave this world just as we entered it- with nothing,. In spite of all our hard work there is nothing we can take with us."  (Ecclesiastes 5: 15-20)

"The same fate awaits human beings and animals alike. One dies just like the other"

So if life is useless...than what now?

Are you still waiting for answers...

 You most likely will not find them here. 

But while you are here, here is the wisdom I offered at the beginning of this post ... 

Speak to yourself nicely...what is the point in being harsh? The reality of your discovery will not change.... so no point making yourself feel uncomfortable. I urge you to take care of yourself the best you can, because even though Ecclesiastics was sought of right, ironically his writing lived on to the present day and his despair/mid life crisis is still educating us.

Accept that there are some questions you may never have answers too. For the questions that do have answers you may not like them...so just learn to accept. Once you accept, you can clearly figure out what's next.

Pray for wisdom because even though it may only be useful while your alive, you need to navigate this world somehow...

The minute I thank the universe for something , more of it appears...why? maybe magic?

Go on try it, and get back to me with your results.

You need to laugh and in this place we call home, what else can you do but laugh at the mystery of it.

"Useless Useless, said the philosopher. It is all useless."

fffffffffFFFFFFFuuuuurrrrrp & respecting personal space!

I was the type of baby that was afraid of my own farts.

yap...

I don't remember it though.

 It's my Mum who liked to recounter the story.

It amused her to tell it.

ffffffFFFFFffffffffffffffurrrrrrrrrrrrrp!

She would imitate my scrunched up chubby petrified baby face.

I loved listening to her narrate the story because this particular memory tickled the cheeky part of her soul. 

 Apparently I was somewhere in the corner minding my own baby business and....

fffffffFFFFFFffffffffffffffurrrrrrrrrrrrrp!

Everyone turns to look at the cute distressed farting baby.

Now when I think more on it.....was the baby me afraid of the sound of my fart or the fact that farts drew people's attention to me?

Don't worry, I grew to learn that good girls don't fart in public.  

It's a story that make me chuckle to recall, and it tickles the cheeky part of my soul too. 

Baby me was frightened of my own body. 

Anyways... I am  sharing this story because I want to call your attention to space and respect. 

I think some human beings don't understand the concept of personal space, and I just wish that we could all learn this lesson carefully and responsibly.

When I speak of space it is not just physical, but emotional and mental as well.

Like for example unnecessary whatsapp group creations!?!

Dear millennials and eager generation Zs, please think these things through thoroughly 

before clicking on that add button...

We do not need a whatsapp group for everything!

We do not need to be in constant communication over a meme, pictures of dead celebrities or some misogynistic joke seen on twitter 

Sometimes we should just respect people's space,

and in turn learn to healthly assert our own.

[Unless you are one of my siblings...

cause really in an African family what is 'personal space'  anyway?]

Now....

How to connect the farting-baby-story, personal space and whatsapp groups ?

I don't know.

 Somehow my brain brought the two together...

So I started writing.

And here you are.

Thank you for dropping by.

Always appreciated.

ffffffffffFFFFFFFFFFFFFFurrrrrrrrp!

Oops.

Apologies.

That's will be all for now . 

Until the next post...

    

Dear B: No Longer Leaving Things Unsaid ...

Dear B.

I came home to find these 3D cinema glasses on my desk,

still after all these years they still grab my attention.

Do you remember the movie you took me to see?

Yours Sincerely M.

---------------

Dear B.

 You were miserable in the cinema that day.

But I held my tongue.

I didn't know how to help you.

How can you assist someone so busy shutting everyone out?

They told me, "You shouldn't speak to your man 

the same way you would your best friend."

"Men like to figure their s*&% out alone."

I let you pretend that you were fine.

 I stayed quiet.

Even as you walked right out of my life.

Yours Sincerely M.

---------------

Dear B

I have decided not to be silent anymore

I know they all told me to  keep my mouth shut in good faith.

They said that everything  happened for the best.

But it hasn't worked B,

cause I still think about you.

Yours Sincerely M.

-------------

Dear B

If there is one thing I hate about myself...

It's that I am loyal. 

Loyal to those I care about;

Even to friends & family  who wouldn't think to do the same for me.

Yours Sincerely M.

-------------

Dear B.

I am putting up my white flag.

I need to be my warm bubbly self again.

You were always so good at the 'silence' game.

I can't pretend to be cold anymore.

I can't pretend to be unwelcoming anymore.

My heart will always be happy to see you.

Yours Sincerely M.

--------------

Dear B

I am calling you back to me,

because I know this is exactly where you are

meant to be.

Yours always M.