I writing this so I don't forgot to have gratitude.
Somethings have become so routine that we forget how wonderous they are.
I had passport before I could read or even spell my name.
I travelled on a plane before I could speak in sentences, use a spoon to eat or I could even go to the toilet alone.
I think about this because I remember my father once told me that he used to attend primary school barefoot cause he did not own a pair of shoes. My mum was born at home, the only record of her birth is her baptism certificate. To forget how far my parents had to have come to instill flying on a plane in their children as a normal and possible part of life from an early age would be very disrespectful.
As a child the excitement of being able to go to Jomo Kenyatta International Airport just to see the planes land and take off was quite an adventure. At that time you could go to the top of the terminal building and watch them even if you weren't travelling. There was a tiny shop that sold soft drinks and snacks and we had to pay an entrance fee. When members of the family were arriving during the day, my father liked to take us to witness it. Little Maria was always ecstatic seeing her Mum or brothers stepping off the plane. This was in the early 1990s; today understandably, there are so many security measures in place you can barely get into the building.
Everyone would clap for the pilot when the plane landed; travelling was an event! Passengers would be dressed up in their best outfits, My mum in her bold pointy heels and me in my cute puffy dress. The air hostesses were admired for their uniforms and perfect make-up. They still look smart today, but back then I remember they had to be perfectly-put-together which couldn't have have been healthy I guess.
When my elder brother was travelling to the United States to study, three BIG families packed into three not-so-big cars to go to the airport. Some of us sat in the boot of the car. More than twenty people seeing off one person at the airport. Those were the days...
As I said at the beginning of this post, I am writing this so that I don't forget what a privilege it is to fly. Even if it has become quite the routine now days.
I am grateful.
Do you have any special memories? Share them in comments, would love to hear them
I moved to Zambia for career growth mostly, but really to gain a different perspective.
I needed some uncertainty to challenge and propel me to make positive life changes. A very tame down version of Yes theory and the Seek Discomfort challenges but non the less a bold action for me to take in 2021.
From the beginning of my stay in Zambia, there were great colleagues who created an expat community and welcomed me into it. There were many dinners, meet ups and BBQs (Something I hope to take with me to Italy). There were always laughs, information sharing and companionship; I never once felt lonely.
However I went from "Yes, let's do this!" to "What am I doing?"
many times throughout the year....
- When I was in transit and got to Addis Ababa airport and my flight said Harare and not Lusaka
- When I realized I would have to pay double what I budgeted for in rent
- When I realized how expensive things were
- When I realized my workload made it difficult for me to keep up with my masters studies
- When the hot water pipe burst in the bathroom at 3.00am and I thought a bomb had gone off
- When it took a while to find a good hair salon
I had to adapt to a new office culture and learn how to work within my new team. It was like finding my voice and purpose again. I wrote about some bullying that took place mid year here. Digging deep within to keep going during that time was needed, luckily I had previous experiences and a supportive friend with a sincere listening ear.
The things I will miss most
- My lovely home with big screen TVs, a washing machine and a teeny-tiny pool(for the super hot days!). Btw...my home was on the cheaper end in the area I choose to live in.
- My friendship circle and our gatherings. I went bowling for the first time in many many years. Special mention of Latitude, Cantina, Prime Joint, Arirang Korean Restaurant, JCS Food and Indian Fusion for all the lovely lunches and dinners.
- My 15 minute walk to work and to the supermarket.
- Mini local adventures with Kathrine, Suraj and Maya
- Ulendo Eats mostly 3 trees, Mint Active and Eataly were my picks for takeaways.
- Ulendo and Yango taxis.... there were no Boda Bodas carrying humans in Lusaka and I didn't want to buy a car so this app was very convenient.
- Nandos! (Why did you leave East Africa? I miss you already.)
- Weekend Food markets for all the ribs, lemonade, cup cakes, cookies and biryani that I enjoyed.
- African Butterfly Trio Dip....so addictive!
- Our honorary YES Unit, my colleagues have a fantastic sense of humor.
- Getting my nails done ...I had some serious nail game in 2022!
- Sitting in an arm chair in my bedroom drinking my first cup of coffee of the day and watching a #kdrama or #cdrama on a Saturday morning...
Goodbye and thank you Zambia!
Goodbye 2022!
I hardly ever write on theme but for once I am on time and intend to contribute to this conversation.
Unfortunately, in this world of innovations and AI,
I couldn't make my way to the nearest pharmacy and buy a self-medicated pill to fix it.
Why isn't there an antibiotic to clear emotional trauma yet?
I had often pondered whether I was too impatient, but Number One returned to my life and in his alcoholic-abusive-confused-state confirmed very clearly that he was the problem not me.
Paul and I never have such conversations.
That was the trigger for everything I had been holding in.
All About Love by Bell Hooks
"Everyone assumes that we will know how to love instinctively. Despite overwhelming evidence to that contrary, we still accept that family is the primary school for love. "
"Most psychologically and /or physically abused children have been taught by parenting adults that love can coexist with abuse"
I am one of those! According to Bell Hooks many of us are.
"I got what I was accustomed to getting-care and affection, usually mingled with a degree of unkind-ness, neglect and on some occasions outright cruelty. "
"Estrangement from feelings makes it easier for men to lie because they are often in a trance state, utilizing survival strategies of asserting Manhood that they learned as boys. This inability to connect with other carries with it and inability to assume responsibility for causing pain. "
"The wounded heart learns self love by first overcoming low self esteem. "
Bell Hooks' book says all the kind things I wish we all could have said to her before she died.
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