What happens when you realize all this time that you are not the problem?

I have been trying and failing to fix, adjust, adapt for other people's needs and expectations.

A friend's sincere words helped me understand it is not about me 

Also what happens when that bible-type of peace envelops you?

Confirming your safety and imprinting your mind with let go and let God. 

Philippians 4:6-7:

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."

I went on holiday for five days. 

Destination: Napoli/Naples with a day visit to Pompei. 

Typical Italian summer heat, between 30° and 35° most days. 

I could only focus on keeping myself hydrated and enjoying my paid-for-adventure through streets, museums, churches, a castle, a monastery and an archeological site. 

Dedication to my weekly walking sessions prepared me for the 45,000 steps between the hotel, train stations and tourist attractions. 

I ate the best pizza of my life at 50 Kalo! Those pumpkin flowers are something.

Discovered that museum audio guides are the best introvert exploration devices ever invented! 

Everyday worries and fears were sidelined. 

While in deep discussion discovered that my healing journey is progressing much better than I thought and felt, because I stumbled on forgiveness after many years, waiting patiently to be activated.

So I set her on her way and carried on delighting in new sites, sounds and tastes.

After all, most of what scares me is out of my control whether I ruminate on it or not.

Dear Dad, 

I wanted to write you a profound letter today. 

One with wisdom and clarity, littered with epiphanies that I have gained from the years that you've been gone.

Instead I find myself  quite conflicted while sipping my coffee mid morning on a Sunday.

I understand now. 

I used to naively judge you. 

Often I  would ease drop in quiet dismay as you berated someone on the phone

But these days I also feel like SCREEEAAaming common sense into them is the only thing left to do. 

I don't like making people feel uncomfortable. 

I like to keep the peace as you know. 

But I am tired. 

And completely over it. 

Who cares about their peace?  

I am anxious, frustrated and ready to fight if I have too. 

Help me. Please haunt them into rationality and good reasoning. 

Visit them in their dreams if you must. 

Scare the stupidity and stubbornness right out of them!

I will be cheering you on from here. 

I will write again soon. 

Your loving daughter.