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Happily Flawed Blog

I am a writer. A real one.

Friday, 19 May 2023

 


Malcom Gladwell said 10,000 hours.


I think I have clocked mine.

 

So....

I can now comfortable say that I am writer. 


A real one!


And a good one too. 


Talented.


My basic skills helped me begin my career in communications.


Luckily or intended by the Divine One, my then supervisor saw something in me that I didn't see.

 

I have not published a book yet, but throughout my career I have been honing and perfecting this skill for various online and traditional media platforms. 


There is also this blog, evidence of personal creative growth over the years. Right?


For the record I now know that I will write, create, produce and publish great work continuously and joyfully until I don't want too anymore.

 

Watch this space. 


Anywho....thank you for coming to my TED Talk! 😂 


What about you? 


What have you finally accepted to acknowledge about yourself? 


Get in that comment section and share 😀 



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Birthday Fenty, Pizza and Cappuccinos after noon in Torino, Italy - Week Three Update

Wednesday, 26 April 2023

 


 I did it. I moved again!

Who is this Maria? I sometimes don't know either. 

I am now in Torino, Italy.  

Everything is new and overwhelming, but my colleagues are so helpful, concerned and kind that it offsets some of the anxiety. 

Just like in the movies there are picturesque buildings and streets with cute cafes, bars and restaurants on every corner. I could happily get used to this lifestyle.

It is considered a smaller less hectic city with a 'light' functional transport system yet I still found the orange yellow trams intimidating because of the very high steps at each door that are easy to trip on, and how they always arrive packed with people. I finally caved in and used one last week.  Fears have been conquered.

We are surrounded by the famous Alps, so I will hike when the weather is warmer. 

I have eaten loooooooooooots of cookies, croissants and  mostly  pizza al taglio 

At night, I sleep peacefully even though I drink  3 cups of coffee daily...really goooooooooooooooooood coffee. There are so many options I may do a fun blog post on this soon. 

The coffee-after-lunch culture has changed my work life. Those after lunch snooze attacks that used to hit me at my desk have disappeared completely. 

A colleague took me out for hot chocolate at Cafe Clarissa and the world seems to be a beautiful and bright place again!

Also the Milka choco brownies that the vending machine at work supplies are a new addiction. 

Today is my 61st  day of Duolingo learning, very optimistic that I will be able to sustain simple conversations in Italian by the end of the year. 

Discovered Sephora on my birthday so I am happy that my skincare junkie ways will flourish here.

My Airbnb host baked and surprised me with a birthday cake. 

Lastly cats really like me in Italy....no idea why!?
I am slowly being converted from a dog-person. 
































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Using Headspace to make peace with my messy mind

Tuesday, 25 April 2023

 




My mind and I have been getting to grips with each other ... 

Headspace made me realize that I was constantly rejecting all the internal chit-chatter,

 leaving chaos to inshrew.


I always tell people I don't like meditation or yoga.

"It  is much too much quiet for me!"

What I really mean  is "I don't like being left alone with my mind". 

I still don't....

but suddenly I am not happy with the fact that I have been 

comfortable with this statement for so long. 

 I have been using headspace for the last couple of weeks. 

I am a proud paid subscriber.😁 

This is the year of improving my mental health. 

365 days of commitment to internal self care. 



I thought it would teach me how to make the anxiety, sadness or even loneliness stop 

but instead it is teaching me how to sit and make peace with ALL of it. 

Sometimes my mind is loud, anxious, impulsive, paranoid, mean and downright ruthless, 

especially when I am feeling low.

 I am learning to sit with it and sometimes quietly and sincerely question the messiness. 

So far the longest session has been 51.26 minutes . 

Honestly it's a struggle most days.

Headspace says its okay to struggle,

and just be accepting of it all. 


Is it strange that I can visualize 

what the source of my rapid fire thoughts looks like?


I want my mind to be safe space,

just like my future home. 



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Taking Stock - Sleeping Better and Worrying Less - March 2023

Friday, 17 March 2023

 


Making: Time for change again. There are many who may not understand the motivation behind my choices this year. so here is a mini explanation.... My life is running me yet I am meant to run my life. This is starting to show on my body. I have gained weight, my anxiety and sleeping patterns are running a muck. Last year I accepted that I am also a worker bee, I like to have purpose, office politics can't be avoided but it should not take up 80% of my workload, so I am moving to where I can be more productive. Being productive is good for my soul. Taking control of my life means having good work-life balance, progressing through my masters, losing weight, sleeping better and worrying less. Let me stress again I want to run my life. 





Reading:  Africa is not a country by Dipo Faloyne, Spare by Prince Harry, 23 things they don't tell you about capitalism by Ha Joon Chang. 

Watching(and Watched) :  Little Women, Next in Fashion S2, Crash Course in Romance, Love is Blind Brazil (S2), Love is blind (S3) Meet yourself, Move to Heaven, Little Nyonya, Glitch, Firefly Lane S1 , The Makanai: Cooking for the Maiko Home, The King's Affection, Cafe Minambang, Ginny and Georgia (S2) , The World's Most Amazing Rentals, Your Place or Mine, From Scratch, Vatican Girl, The Two Popes, New Life Begins, The Watcher, Ancient Apocalypse, Emily in Paris (S3) Dubai Bling, Bing Empire (S3), Bling Empire -New York, The Empress, Blood and Water (S3)  She and her Perfect Husband , MH370: the plane that disappeared, Harry and Meghan

Listening: Unpopular Opinion UG,  Daily Routine

Writing: For my new job and this blog. very excited about this. 

Loving: The Ordinary's Retinol 0.2% in Squalene , Victoria Secret's Overnight Lip Mask

Eating:  I am still making progress with my intermittent fasting journey and this week I tried Melatonin to help my sleeping pattern recover and wow... forgive me for the cliché but I slept like a baby 

Drinking: More water and no alcohol for the next three months.  Wish me luck

Learning & listening: Four new languages and this podcast episode changed my life...




Noticing & Feeling: I am the best version of  self right now.  I am enjoying thriving in my technical expertise. I am more assertive than the Maria of ten years ago. Maybe I will write about this in more  detail on the blog, not sure yet.... 

Knowing: The only two people who really love me in this world are my niece and my nephew. When I returned from Zambia they were the happiest to see me. They just enjoy my company and it is vice visa for me too.  My niece is was so upset when she found out  I was leaving again. It made me feel really sad and slightly torn about my decision to move.... but I reminded her that I will return and we will have so many stories for each other when I do. Aside from family connection, for most of my life I have been trying to avoid being alone. Looking for friendships and even sometimes romantic love, it is starting to occur to me that maybe those are things that I need to accept I may have failed at doing. I have to stop running from being alone. I have to accept the kind of love that is available to me. Love wins because love is such a vast big thing. 

Thinking: Set the intention. Tell God. Start the journey. I have a prayer commitment this year to complete. 

Giggling Over: Elyse Myers, just discovered her on you tube and enjoying her videos. 

And yourself? What are you taking stock of in this new year? 

Do something you future self will thank you for quote



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My name is Maria. Welcome to my blog. Click on my picture to learn more about me. Otherwise feel free to roam around.

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