My mind and I have been getting to grips with each other ... 

Headspace made me realize that I was constantly rejecting all the internal chit-chatter,

 leaving chaos to inshrew.

I always tell people I don't like meditation or yoga.

"It  is much too much quiet for me!"

What I really mean  is "I don't like being left alone with my mind". 

I still don't....

but suddenly I am not happy with the fact that I have been 

comfortable with this statement for so long. 

 I have been using headspace for the last couple of weeks. 

I am a proud paid subscriber.😁 

This is the year of improving my mental health. 

365 days of commitment to internal self care. 

I thought it would teach me how to make the anxiety, sadness or even loneliness stop 

but instead it is teaching me how to sit and make peace with ALL of it. 

Sometimes my mind is loud, anxious, impulsive, paranoid, mean and downright ruthless, 

especially when I am feeling low.

 I am learning to sit with it and sometimes quietly and sincerely question the messiness. 

So far the longest session has been 51.26 minutes . 

Honestly it's a struggle most days.

Headspace says its okay to struggle,

and just be accepting of it all. 

Is it strange that I can visualize 

what the source of my rapid fire thoughts looks like?

I want my mind to be safe space,

just like my future home.